


Undercover

by danke_rose



Series: World of Hox/Pox/Dox [3]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character death is not permanent, F/M, Other characters in minor roles - Freeform, adult situations are not explicit, character is resurrected immediately, kurtty - Freeform, only happy endings for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28856982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danke_rose/pseuds/danke_rose
Summary: Set during the current events taking place on Krakoa, this imagines that Kurt Wagner is not affected by the apparent mental manipulation.  When Kitty fails to pass through the Krakoan gate, he tends her wounds and confides his suspicions about the island.  They agree to do some investigating, and in the process rekindle an old friendship that eventually becomes something more.
Relationships: Kitty Pryde/Kurt Wagner
Series: World of Hox/Pox/Dox [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162625
Comments: 27
Kudos: 6





	1. Don't Treat Me Like a Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> This contains some implied sexual situations but nothing explicit. Sorry folks, no smut this time. :-)
> 
> I totally wrote this for me, as I do, but you can read it, too! I've been in a bit of a writing rut for a while and this was the first thing I've written that was actually fun, so here you go. Is it cheesy, fluffy, and ridiculous? Sure. Why the heck not? :-) Life's short. Write what you like, folks.
> 
> If you have not read any of the current storyline, this note is for you. If you have, you are probably familiar enough to go ahead and read on.
> 
> In current canon, the X-Men and all mutants have made a new home for themselves on their former nemesis, Krakoa, the sentient island. Things appear peaceful at first, but upon closer inspection, things are not what they seem. People are acting oddly, behaving in ways they would not normally. The new nation is isolated and exclusionary. Mutants can be resurrected because Cerebro is storing all their thoughts and their essence and Xavier "downloads" it back into a newly formed husk. The husk is created by five mutants working in tandem, including Hope Summers, Fabio Medina, and others. There are also portals, called gates, onto the island connecting different places on the world. The idea is that only mutants can pass through them (creating a question for Kitty about whether she's really a mutant). The gates and everything on the island are biotech. Kitty has taken to using the name Kate and is the current Red Queen of the Hellfire Trading Company. She works with Emma Frost--like best friends. Emma is still White Queen and Sebastian Shaw is Black King. Xavier requested Emma bring him on board. Xavier was assassinated in an issue of X-Force (I think) and was apparently resurrected by Jean, although details surrounding the resurrection are conspicuously absent. And his brown eyes are now blue. Weird. The other thing you might need to know is that, during the formation of the island nation, the team learned of a group called Orchis, building a Mother Mold in space. A team was sent to destroy it, and while they succeeded, they also all perished and were resurrected. I think that's everything you need to know.

Blinding pain shot up her nose and into her brain. Kitty gaped at the Krakoan gate, blinking in shock as her friends gasped behind her. She was supposed to pass through the gate like she did everything else around her, not smash her face into it and break her nose. Beside her, Ororo held her hands under Kitty's nose in a futile attempt to catch the blood pouring off her chin. Through watering eyes, she focused on Kurt's face. He'd always been her anchor.

The sharp pain became a dull, radiating heat across her face, a throbbing sheet of pain every time she moved. Tears rolled down her cheeks as anger welled in her chest.

“What the hell?” she said, each word punctuated by another spike of pain.

Kurt took hold of her upper arm. “Hold your breath.”

  
  


Two teleports later, they materialized at the old Xavier school, abandoned and empty now. Kitty groaned, holding her stomach and her face. Kurt braced her, his hand warm on her back until she stood up, and apologized as he always did for how his teleports made her feel.

“There are still supplies here,” Kurt explained. “And no one will question us.”

Kitty's eyes continued to water as they walked the few paces to the infirmary. While he dug for bandages and an ice pack, she gingerly probed the bone around her eye and the bridge of her nose. The bleeding had stopped, fortunately, but it still hurt like hell and was definitely swollen. Kurt handed her an ice pack and rubbed her arm.

“Why didn't it work?” she said.

“I don't know. That's never happened before.”

She wavered between anger and despair and the warmer feeling of being with Kurt. It had been a while, but seeing him now, it felt like no time had passed at all. Kitty had been teaching when Xavier suddenly announced his launch of a new mutant state. He'd gathered his initial team to help him organize and set up the island, and she hadn't been on it, though he'd asked her to plant a flower in Washington, D.C. She and Kurt had seen each other only in passing over that last year, but she'd never questioned their friendship. He filled her in on the planning she'd missed out on, telling stories to distract her from the pain.

“Xavier and Magneto have been working non-stop setting up this island home. Truly working _together_ , if you can believe it.”

“It seems like a miracle,” she said, though it came out muffled through the ice pack. “I heard they even brought Emma Frost on board.”

“That's true, but I've heard other rumors...” he began, then looked across the room, seemingly at nothing. He walked slowly to one wall and laid his hand on it.

Kitty prompted him. “About?”

He didn't answer immediately, instead reaching for a metal tray and hefting it like he might throw it. He looked at the ceiling in several parts of the room.

“Uh, Kurt?”

“Hold on.”

He leaped up and smashed the old security camera directly above him, then two others around the room.

She waited, wondering what he had to tell her that would make him paranoid that the old disabled security network might still be listening. Her eye hurt, and she stopped watching him to shift the ice pack.

“Do you see any others?” Kurt asked.

“No, but if you're concerned, shouldn't we just go somewhere else?”

“Such as?”

He had a point. With everything Xavier and Magneto had put into place, essentially forcing humans to accept his new nation, mutant-human relations were at an all-time level of distrust. They were either adored or despised worse than before, and unfortunately, emotions skewed to the latter. Kurt would inevitably bear the brunt of whatever happened if they tried to sit in a coffee shop or walk down the street. Even in Salem Center people had turned on them. Finding a mutant-friendly place could take a while.

He hopped up on the table beside her and bent close to her ear. “You and I were good friends in the past, were we not?”

She turned, unable to furrow her brow for the pain in her nose that seemed to have migrated to her heart. “Of course. I didn't think that had changed.” So much time had passed, though. Maybe, for him, it had felt different. She blinked a little and added softly, “Has it?”

He took her hand in his, a bit of relief in his face. “No, never. That is, I didn't _think_ so, but it's been such a long time. I wasn't sure how you felt.”

“It's been _too_ long,” she agreed. “But that doesn't mean we stopped being friends.”

He nodded and looked around, still with that suspicious expression. It made Kitty feel the same way, and she found herself looking over her own shoulder. “Kurt, what's going on?”

“Do you still have your psychic shields in place?”

A prickle of apprehension went up her spine. “Yeah...”

“Use them. What I'm about to share with you, I've not dared voice to anyone else.”

She gripped his hand firmly. “You can trust me, Kurt.”

“I always have. But this is...” he couldn't meet her eyes and left her to pace the room again. He turned at the far side, hands clasped at his neck, tilting his head side to side like his shoulders ached.

Kitty slid off the table, sending a jolt of pain through her nose. She caught Kurt's arm as he strode forward in concern, stopping him. “Just tell me.”

“I became suspicious of Xavier recently. Rumors began circulating the island that Moira was not dead, as we've been led to believe. Charles denied them, of course, and put them to rest with some... _assertiveness_ , especially in those most willing to entertain the possibility that she might be alive. The more I see, the more certain I am that he is manipulating at least some of what we're doing and thinking. Perhaps more than _some_.” He shook his head. “I didn't know who to trust.”

“Not even Ororo?”

“She supports him fully. She leads the resurrection ceremonies.”

“Logan?”

“Impossible to read. He seems unchanged, but I can't be sure. His nature is to rebel, and so far, he has not. I dared not discuss anything in case Xavier overheard and...dealt with it.”

“Why me then?”

“You haven't been on the island yet, and you couldn't pass through the gate.”

“Tell me everything,” she said.

  
  


By the time Kurt finished, they had settled on the floor with their backs against a wall, holding hands while Kitty kept the ice pack on her numb, frozen face. Everything Xavier was putting into place seemed, at least on the surface, idyllic. A genuine utopia for mutants. From what Kurt told her though, treachery lay beneath the surface of that perfection. Moira's disappearance and the rumors about her had sent Kurt looking for clues, and while he hadn't found _her_ , he had learned more things about Krakoa that disturbed him. Doug or Warlock, or possibly both, had infected the island with the techno-organic virus, but were somehow hiding it. Beast was doing experiments with biotech in his underground lair, which Kurt had stumbled upon by accident and quickly left. There was more.

Xavier and Magneto were inviting old enemies to join them, with only their word as assurance. Already, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, and Kurt's biological mother, Mystique, had accepted invitations to live on Krakoa and work with the professor. All three held seats on the governing council. Sabretooth, who'd killed a human on a mission before the island had any laws in place, had been sent to what Kurt could only describe as a sort of purgatory for mutants, deep inside the island. Even Kurt, as ashamed as he was to admit it, had agreed to the sentence, though afterwards, he didn't understand why. That increased his suspicion that Charles was tampering with their minds.

“So they sentenced him for a crime that wasn't a crime on Krakoa when it was committed, as a way of...what, making a point?” Kitty said.

“It seems that way. Looking back, I wish...”

She squeezed his hand. “That wasn't you. You'd _never_ agree to that.”

“ _Danke, meine Freundin_ , but there is more. The Council, which Xavier says will govern us for the foreseeable future, created only three laws. Respect the island, kill no humans, and... make more mutants.” Kurt's face was unreadable as he watched her reaction.

“The third law is to _make babies_? That's idiotic. Who the hell came up with that?”

“It was just a joke,” Kurt said quietly. “Raven was antagonizing me and I thought it would be ridiculous enough to shut her up. But Charles didn't see it that way.”

“Wait, that was _your_ idea?” Kitty held her face while she laughed, falling against his shoulder.

“ _Ja_ , hilarious.”

“Kurt, you have to admit, it's kind of funny.”

“I suppose, if it were not so disturbing, it would be humorous.” He patted her hand. “At any rate, I'm sorry I spoke up.”

She stroked his arm. “I, for one, plan to break that rule.”

“A shame,” he said.

She elbowed him. “Jerk.”

He leaned away. “I meant—because many of the inhabitants will be very disappointed to learn the most beautiful woman on the island is unavailable.”

Kitty laughed again, wincing. “Stop making me laugh.”

“I wasn't trying to.”

She wiped her eyes and stretched out her legs. “I didn't say I was _unavailable_ , just not for making _babies_. Now, what do we do about all this?”

Kurt shrugged, then leaned forward to take the ice pack off her face and inspect the bruising around her eye and nose. “Keep watch, I suppose. Let's get something on here to hold the bone steady while it heals.”

He helped her up, and she let him because it felt good to have him around again and she wasn't quite ready to let go of him.

“I think I missed you,” she said, laughing at herself as she gingerly wiggled back onto the examination table.

Kurt shot her a look over the drawer of bandages and tape. “You _think_?”

“Yeah, I didn't realize until now.”

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

“Maybe. Or maybe something else.”

He found what he was looking for and turned back, gently setting the bandage in place. For a man who wielded swords with ease, could punch out a Warwolf, and regularly lifted his full body weight with one hand during acrobatic moves, he was incredibly gentle. She'd forgotten. No, not forgotten, she'd intentionally pushed the memories away because missing him _hurt_. Now it flooded back, and she held her breath while he made adjustments.

“So,” she said, clearing her throat when he stepped back apace. “Do we spy?”

For a second, he seemed about to contradict her. Then his mouth split into a grin. “I think so. You'll do this with me?”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn't give up the chance to work with you again.”

“Even if it means sneaking around Charles and Magneto?”

“ _Especially_ if it means getting over on them.”

Kurt put his hand on his chin in thought. “Electronics on the island are primarily biological, but I think, under the circumstances, we can argue an exception for your case. Xavier and Krakoa will still know we have standard phones, but there's no getting around that.”

“Why does it matter?”

“They can both be monitored, but the island prefers biotech. When you arrive, they'll issue a Krakoan communicator.”

Kitty shook her head. The more Kurt told her, the more she agreed with him that Krakoa was not the paradise it seemed on the surface. And the more she knew, the more she wanted to know. Solving a mystery was exciting, and doing it with Kurt would be fun.

“So we have no means of communicating privately until I get there, is what you're telling me.”

“No. I'm telling you we have no means of communicating privately on Krakoa. At _all_.”

“Oh. Okay. We'll have to do something about that.”

He made a sound of agreement. “Without use of the gates, you will need a boat to reach the island.”

“I'll think of something,” she said. She'd probably have to steal one. Renting didn't seem like a feasible plan since she didn't intend to return the vessel.

“Flights to Krakoa are a bit scarce, but if you can get to Hawaii or Fiji, it isn't far.”

They left the infirmary and walked the empty hall to what was once a busy rec room. Kurt leaped over the back of the abandoned couch and settled into a corner across from Kitty. Even in the silence, Kitty felt at home. She glanced around at the old, familiar setting, then back at Kurt, and smiled.

“Happy to be home?” he said.

“No. Happy to be here with you.” As she said it, she realized how true it was. Kurt made wherever they were home. She stretched her feet until they met his.

Kurt's smile showed the tip of one white fang. “As am I, Kätzchen, and doubly so, to be relieved of carrying the burden of these secrets alone.”

“You should have come to me sooner.”

“I couldn't get away. I was needed for a vital mission, then I died, then—” he stopped at her shocked expression. “Kitty?”

“But I thought...you _couldn't_ die anymore.”

“I admit, I don't understand it either. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding before?”

Kurt had been dead for almost two years, some of the longest of Kitty's life. When he returned, he brought his demon-wannabe father Azazel with him, trapping him on Earth to save all of Heaven and the afterlife from the war Azazel wanted to start. In doing so, Kurt had seemingly lost the ability to stay dead. Fear that had eased after learning he couldn't die resurfaced in a flood.

“So you can die again?”

“It appears so. Unless part of me is still up there reincarnating and dying on repeat1.”

Kitty shuddered. “I hope not.”

“Me, too.”

They sat in silence for a moment, pondering the weight of Kurt's words and the truth of Xavier's resurrection process. Finally Kitty spoke up again.

“Before we start making plans, is there any food around?” She wondered if anything left in the school would be edible, and started to make a face. It hurt, and she put a hand to her nose. “Or can we order something?”

“No one will deliver here.” Kurt sat up, then vaulted over the back of the couch again, teleporting mid-jump.

Kitty got up more carefully, her whole face tender, and joined him in the kitchen. He was standing at the pantry, looking over what was left inside. There were canned goods and a few boxed meals with good dates, so they warmed those up and sat at the breakfast table to eat. For a little while, she could almost pretend things were the way they used to be, back when they lived in the school and ate at that table almost every day.

Outside, the sun dipped lower in the sky, its orange and pink glow turning the world into a fairyland. Kitty let her mind drift while she watched the shifting colors in the yard where she used to train. She dragged her eyes back to Kurt, who was watching her with mild curiosity.

“Lost in thought?” he said.

“We need a code,” Kitty said. “So Charles and Krakoa won't know what we're talking about.”

“Good idea. I've no idea how closely conversations are monitored, or if they're recorded somewhere. And I don't know how directly tied to the island Xavier is, but Krakoa is apparently aware of _everything_ that happens there. Doug speaks to Krakoa, so we could ask, but he seems to be in league with the professor as well.”

Kitty frowned.

“I'm sorry, Kätzchen, I know how close you two once were.” So close she'd once phased into Doug's grave trying to prove that Douglock was her dead friend. Kitty shook her head at the memory.

“It's all right. Seems like pretty much everyone is part of this.” Another thought occurred to her, and her frown deepened. Her eyes narrowed as she asked, “So how do I know _you're_ not in league with Xavier?”

Kurt nodded, agreeing with her, and set his fork down. “Perhaps on some level, I am. He seems able to convince nearly everyone. I've certainly served a beneficial role to him on more than one occasion. I don't know if there's anything I could say that would convince you.”

“I'll just have to trust you then.”

“I'll answer any questions you have.”

Kitty touched his hand, one finger tracing his knuckles. “Same here. So.” She smacked the table decisively and Kurt flinched, then gave a breathy laugh. Kitty laughed, too. “Let's plan.”

“Meeting on Krakoa is out of the question. We'll never be able to talk freely. There are still places off-island that turn a blind eye to mutant activity, but reaching them will not be simple without the gates.”

“Nothing in teleport range, I guess.”

“ _Nein_.” Kurt tapped his chin and cursed softly in German. Even with the increase in his range since his original resurrection, he still had limits. “Let's say this then. Wherever you can be, I can get to you easily enough. You let me know and I'll meet you, wherever and whenever. Barring Council meetings.”

“Of course.”

“Of course.” He smiled and she was caught in it for a moment, smiling back like she'd forgotten the world around her. Kurt cleared his throat and Kitty snapped out of her daze.

“If I bring a boat with me, we could use that, sail somewhere.”

“We may have to, although the distance is limiting. Perhaps sail out to open water?” He rubbed his chin.

“I doubt Logan will believe I've taken up fishing.”

“And they may begin to talk if we are constantly meeting in secret.”

Kitty's stomach felt like it was in free-fall. She straightened in the chair and wondered what was going on with her. Was she reacting to Kurt because she was so happy to see him? Or was it something else?

“We have to get the gates working for me,” Kitty said, determined to stay on topic. “I don't see how else this works.”

“ _Ja_ , it's a problem. For now, though, let's focus on getting new phones and getting you to Krakoa. You'll call when you arrive?”

“Yeah. It's a big island on foot. Where do you live, anyway?”

“When you get there, I'll show you.” He grinned. “It's actually quite incredible.”

“See, now you make me think you _like_ this whole island lifestyle.”

He leaned back in the chair and propped his feet on the chair beside her as he grinned. “I admit, there are aspects of it that aren't so bad. But it will all be better when you are there.”

“I'll be there. Just not very _soon_. Do you have coordinates or a map or something I can use to find it?”

“I'll make sure you can find it. I know they'll be glad to hear you're on your way.”

  
  


Kurt suggested they stay in the school overnight, allowing Kitty to get an early start the next morning, rather than starting her long voyage in the evening. Telepaths on Krakoa sent Kitty all the information she'd need to navigate to the island. Kurt wished he could go with her, but Xavier was calling the Quiet Council together again and he wanted all of them present. Xavier agreed, reluctantly, to postpone the meeting by one day, to give Kurt a chance to help Kitty find transportation.

“We've the whole evening ahead of us, Kätzchen. What shall we do with it?” He stood in the middle of the kitchen with his arms outstretched. His tail curled in an endless, repeating S.

Kitty stretched and tugged at her ponytail, running her fingers through her hair before she put it up again and braced her hands on her hips. “I'm going to pack.”

Her old room was dusty, and most of her things had already been sent to Krakoa, waiting somewhere on the island for her arrival. They found a discarded duffel bag in someone else's room, and she filled it with what remained of her clothing and toiletries.

“You won't need that,” Kurt said, gesturing at the toothpaste and shampoo.

“I will if I'm on a boat for six months.”

He was sprawled across the bare mattress that had been her bed, and flipped upright at her answer. “You're planning to sail from New York?”

“Figure I'll make an adventure of it.”

His tone was skeptical. “You _are_ joking...right?”

Kitty tried to stifle her laugh, then gave in. “Unless I'm on a huge, luxurious ocean liner, I'm not spending six months on a boat.”

As darkness fell, they wound up in Kurt's room, lounging on his bed talking and catching up while some old movie played in the background. Kurt told her how, in spite of his growing sense of unease, he had agreed to help Xavier manage the new nation, if only to see what he was doing. At first, Kurt had been as enamored with the idea as the rest of them, caught up in the rushing hope of a safe place, a real home for all mutants. But the more he saw, the more his doubts and concerns chipped away at the perfection, and he began to see more and more flaws in the design. The Quiet Council's punishment of Sabretooth had finalized his opinion that this was not best for all mutants after all.

For a while, he hadn't known who to turn to or trust, so he hadn't mentioned anything at all. He'd gone along with everything, keeping track of the little oddities in his head, afraid to write anything down.

“Being here with you again, feeling free to talk about my concerns...it is such a relief,” he said.

Kitty's arms were folded over his chest, her chin resting on them while he talked. She gave him a sleepy rub on the place over his heart. She picked her head up a little. “Let's not let a year come between us again.”

“No. Let's not.”

Kurt's stories wound down, Kitty had no more news to share, and her eyes kept drifting closed. Kurt was warm under her cheek, and his hand playing at the back of her neck made her whole body relax, like she was melting over the shape of him. She yawned and a jolt of pain in her nose made her eyes fly open.

“All right?” he said, his voice sounded as languid as she felt.

“I never realized how much I use my nose.” She rolled off his bed, patting his leg as she stood. “Be right back.”

“Okay.”

Kitty returned from her unproductive search for pajamas to catch Kurt dropping a nightshirt over his head. She froze in the doorway, her hand on the frame as the lean lines of his back disappeared under the billowy shirt. She'd ignored the beautiful shape of him when she was a teenager. Had her time away from him made her notice it now, or was she just allowing herself to finally appreciate how incredibly attractive he was? He turned, hands still on the hem of his shirt.

“I packed everything,” she said quietly. “Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?”

He waved a hand stiffly at the dresser and swallowed. “Help yourself.”

She made her legs move, crossing the room to stand stupidly in front of his dresser. “Feels weird to go through your things.”

He opened a drawer full of shirts and pulled out the first one. “Will this work?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” She clutched it tightly. “Hey, uh, my old room is so far and...Can I...”

She had to tilt her head to see his eyes, though he wasn't a particularly tall man. When she stood this close, the difference was noticeable. She wanted to lay her hand on his chest and run it down the smooth fabric. She clutched his T-shirt tighter instead.

“You can stay here with me if you want.”

She nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

Somehow she made it to his ensuite bathroom to change into the shirt. Behind the door, she took several deep, measured breaths. She didn't know if her shaking hands were a result of anxiety about the situation on Krakoa, or her newly acknowledged feelings for Kurt. The shirt barely reached mid-thigh, and she debated leaving her uniform leggings on. She decided not to. However he felt about her, he'd seen her in less.

When she came out, he was changing the sheets on the bed, and she helped tuck them in and spread the quilt on top. He never looked anywhere but at her face.

“How long do you think it takes to sail from here to Krakoa?” she asked as she climbed into the bed and pressed her bare legs against his. She pretended she slept with him all the time.

“I don't honestly know, nor do I wish to find out. I suggest you fly into Hawaii, or Fiji, and sail from there.”

“I bet it takes months from here.” She wasn't going to sail from New York to the South Pacific, but she was sleepy and dreaming of a long, luxurious voyage, maybe with Kurt at her side. Fantasies about him were new to her, too.

“Maybe. We could calculate it if you want.”

“Nah.” She could feel the sheets under each fingertip, because they weren't touching Kurt.

He propped his head on his hand and looked at her in the dark. His eyes glowed golden yellow, and for a second she thought he looked at her like she was beautiful. The illusion passed when he spoke.

“I estimate the entire trip will take you almost two weeks, assuming you set sail from Hawaii. Most of it will be sailing, and of course, also assumes good conditions.”

She patted his shoulder and let her hand slide down his chest to the mattress again. “Thanks. I'll figure everything out in the morning. I don't want to think about it anymore right now.”

Kurt put his head down and she slipped her fingers into his as she closed her eyes.

1Thanks to Laughing_Screaming for the idea of poor Kurt, continuously resurrecting in the blast of the sun's radiation for eternity


	2. Between Two Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty accepts Emma's job offers and takes the name "Kate" to show she's part of Krakoa. She makes an attempt at getting them off the island, only to learn her knowledge of gate locations is going to be a problem.

Her throbbing nose woke her in the middle of the night, but Kurt's arm around her waist as he slept made her want to stay awake. His breath was warm on the back of her neck and when she moved her leg slowly to stretch, his tail uncurled and wound around her other leg. She wanted to stay there forever, and never forget how good it felt to be held in his arms. Eventually she dozed off again, and when she woke in the morning, he was still holding her, his forehead crushed against her shoulder. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling to keep from running her hand through his hair.

She'd slept in his room at the school a few times before, usually if she nodded off during one of his less interesting movie choices. How had she never realized how pleasant it was to wake next to him? Then again, he'd never slept next to her like _this_ , with his body curled around her and his arm thrown across her ribs. Kitty didn't move more than to blink and yawn. Sunlight filtered in through drawn curtains, and lit Errol Flynn movie posters, left behind on the walls. Seeing them filled her with a sadness that surprised her. He'd always brought his posters when they moved and hung them up first thing, along with his swords.

Kurt stirred beside her, pulling her close as he woke, then letting go abruptly when he realized. The room was chilly with no heat running in the mansion. Though the spring sun would soon warm it, the night had been cold and she was glad she hadn't slept alone in her old room. Kitty pulled his arm back over her, wiggling closer to his heat. He relaxed and his tail curled loosely around her ankle.

He cleared his throat and said, “How does your nose feel?”

She started to touch it automatically, but caught herself. “Bad.”

“May I?” She nodded and he lifted the bandage to peer beneath. “It looks to be set fairly well, but I'm sure it hurts. Fortunately, I believe your beauty will be unaffected.” He grinned, like it was a joke.

Kitty smiled cautiously. “You keep saying that.”

“Saying what?”

“Teasing me about being pretty.”

“No, _beautiful_. There is a difference. And it's not teasing if it's true.”

“Okay, Nightcrawler. Whatever you say.”

“Good, then you are beautiful and you cannot argue with me.”

She rolled her eyes, but the blush still warmed her cheeks. She hid her face in his chest, the open collar of his nightshirt pressing his fur into her skin. He ran his hand down her spine slowly, and she found it suddenly hard to breathe. She curled her fingers in his nightshirt and his hand drifted up into her hair. Her stomach growled loudly, and she laughed.

The moment was lost, but Kurt's voice still carried an invisible weight. “I suppose we should get up.”

“Yeah. Probably. You want some three month old cereal?”

  
  


Kitty was grateful for the insulation in her uniform when she put it back on, but she wished she could have stayed in Kurt's T-shirt and his bed and his arms, telling her she was beautiful. He was teasing, she knew that, but it still sounded nice. The cereal was even older than she thought and had a bit of a cardboard taste to it, but it was food, and she was hungry.

Inspired suddenly, she said, “If I learn something new, I'll mention old cereal.”

He chuckled, but agreed. “And if we need to meet?”

“I have to come up with the whole code?” She scooped up another spoonful of her tasteless breakfast.

“Mention your mother and Lockheed.”

“Too confusing. I talk about them all the time.”

“Fair point.” He tapped one finger on the table.

“What about fishing?” she said and pushed the remains of her cereal aside.

“You see? You are much better at this than I am.”

  
  


Kitty procured new phones for them, and booked a flight to Hawaii for the following day. Fiji was slightly closer, but there were no flights available on such short notice. By noon, she could hear Xavier in her mind fussing at Kurt being late for the Council meeting, like psychic feedback.

“Guess you better go,” she said.

They'd been lounging in the rec room, enjoying the peace and quiet and company of each other. Kitty had a laptop from the lab propped on her knees, navigating available flights to see if there was anything that would get her closer to Krakoa and reduce her time on the open water. Mostly she was enjoying Kurt's warmth at her back and his hand at her shoulder, softly rubbing and occasionally sending a finger running up the side of her neck. She pulled her hair to the other shoulder to encourage him.

  
  


Finally, Xavier would not be put off any longer. Kurt would use the Krakoan gate, planted months ago at the school. It didn't help Kitty, but it meant he didn't have to return to Central Park. He folded his arms and fidgeted at the gate while Kitty tried to keep from begging him to stay with her a little longer.

“Will you be able to get to the airport?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'll take a cab.”

“Be careful. Call me.”

“I will,” she said, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “You be careful, too.”

Xavier's voice rang in his head again, and Kurt scowled in annoyance. Kitty would have laughed, but she was as annoyed as he was. She could see him biting back a scathing retort.

“See you in a week,” he said, and leaned in for a quick but firm peck on her lips before he vanished through the Krakoan gate to an island nation that seemed to have been born overnight.

  
  


Kitty remembered how she had felt years ago, with her first crush on Piotr Rasputin. He had been, in her young eyes, the most handsome man she'd ever seen. Everything he said was fascinating, every move dashing and heroic. She remembered the way her stomach fluttered whenever he entered a room, and how giddy she felt when he spoke to her. She felt the same way after Kurt's brief kiss. It was probably a good thing she was going to spend a week getting to the island. Maybe she could compose herself enough to keep from blushing and stammering like a schoolgirl when she saw him next time. Because the kiss—barely a kiss at all—surely meant nothing more than fond, _friendly_ affection.

Kitty put another of Kurt's old T-shirts over her uniform and left the school, heading into Salem Center with her single bag slung over her shoulder. She couldn't stand the thought of staying in the deserted mansion alone. It wasn't home anymore. She took a cab into the city and got a hotel for the night near the airport.

The flight to Hawaii took forever, accustomed as she was to supersonic jets. Once she arrived, she collected the laundry list of items Logan wanted, sent to her new phone by Kurt, who was already in Krakoa. He apologized for the list and his abrupt departure, and hoped she wasn't having any trouble. Then she scouted the marinas until she found one she could sneak into fairly easily, with boats big enough to handle the open ocean without capsizing and leaving her to drown.

She sent Kurt a picture of the boat she stole.

Some days, there was no service, and she couldn't talk to him at all. Lockheed learned to fish, and she was a little afraid to tell him about it in case he thought she was using their code, which she realized should probably be changed. Her first day at sea, Emma Frost contacted her telepathically and offered her a job working for the new Hellfire Trading Corporation. Kitty said she'd think about it. Emma told her she was also looking for a Red Queen for her third seat at her table on the Quiet Council. Kitty said she'd think about it. She didn't mention it to Kurt, distrustful of how much was being monitored and recorded. If she took either job, she'd tell him then, or he'd find out when she showed up at the next Council meeting.

The day she landed, Kurt wasn't able to meet her. Council was in session again, and his presence was required. She understood why he felt obligated to be there as a voice of reason, and agreed with him about it, but part of her selfishly wished he'd been waiting for her. She'd imagined jumping off the boat, splashing lightly through the shallows while he dashed out to meet her. Instead, she waded through the water alone and tried all the gates standing there in the sand. None worked for her.

Kitty hadn't been on the island an hour when Emma Frost contacted her telepathically again. She was pushing for an answer, and pulling all the right strings to try to convince her. Kitty kept her expression impassive, listening with feigned disinterest until Emma gave her a psychic tour of the boat she'd become captain of, if she accepted the position. It was still in the final stages of construction, but would be ready in a few weeks. It was gorgeous, huge, luxurious, and in spite of her determination, Kitty's mouth dropped open in awe. Maybe she'd be spending months on the high seas in luxury after all.

Emma continued plying her with compliments while Kitty gave real, serious consideration to the offers, especially captain of the ship. Although it was Charles their investigation focused on, she thought Kurt would go along with it. Emma was one of the first people Charles and Erik had recruited, and she'd asked for another position on Council in return for bringing Shaw with her. Emma's history with the Hellfire Club made her an automatic suspect for underhanded dealings. For Kitty, Emma was never not suspicious and Sebastian Shaw was more so.

Taking the job might also give her inside information about what Charles and Magneto were doing, and if she accepted the Red Queen position, she'd also get a seat on Council. With both Emma and Shaw already occupying two seats, Kitty wondered who they'd put in her place if she declined. She decided to take both jobs, but she'd let Emma squirm a little before she gave her answer.

  
  


Kitty had no home on the island, and honestly wasn't sure she _wanted_ to stay, especially when Krakoa clearly didn't want her there. Bobby joined her on the beach for a little while, explaining how homes on the island were constructed, just before he dashed through a gate to determine why it had no traffic. Kitty had nowhere to go and didn't know how to get there even if she did. She stayed on the beach and wondered if Kurt would ever join her, or if anyone else cared that she'd arrived. Logan cared, because she'd brought him whiskey and steak and shaving cream. Ororo arrived a while later, and Kitty hoped that meant the Council meeting was over.

Before she could even think about contacting Kurt, Bobby flew back through the Russia gate, panting with bad news about refugees and armor with inhibitor tech.

“I nearly died!” he said when Kitty rolled her eyes at him as he iced up. “What the hell do we do now? All those mutants are being kept away from the gate.”

Kitty had nothing else to do, and mutants were being hurt. She only had the boat she'd stolen, but this trip might work as a kind of trial run, a test to see if she liked being captain of a team sailing the seas instead of living on an island she wasn't sure was safe anyway.

“Let's go rescue some refugees,” she said.

Before she left, she sent Kurt a message, so he would know not to look for her.

>Taking Bobby and Ororo to rescue some mutants in Russia. I'll bring your favorite cereal back with me. Anything else you want?

She was a little disappointed in his reply, that he needed nothing but for her to come back safely, until she realized _the only thing he wanted was for her to come back safely_.

  
  


The mission in Russia was a success. In a spur of the moment speech after the big fight, she told the mutants that the Marauders would bring them home to Krakoa if they couldn't get there on their own. Ororo, Bobby, and their stowaway-turned-teammate, Pyro, all declined to use the Krakoan gate to return to the island. It was a good crew, Kitty thought, even without Nightcrawler. Adding him to the list was tempting, and she spent half a day mulling it over. Already Ororo was on board, and she was a member of Council. When Kitty accepted the position of Red Queen, she'd become a Council member, too. Kurt would make three, and she wasn't sure how that would go over with the rest of the Council, or Xavier, to have a quarter of the island's governing body away from Krakoa so often. She decided not to ask him.

Ororo was on deck when Kitty brought up the handmade flag she'd finished.

“Will you stay with me, if I take this job?” she asked her old friend. Given what Kurt had told her about Ororo, Kitty wasn't sure what to expect.

“You deal with Emma,” Ororo said. “I want no part of her. But I will stay with you.”

Interesting that after all these years Ororo still harbored as much dislike for the woman as Kitty did. She thought all those negative feelings were supposed to have been set aside when the new nation was formed. Apparently that wasn't the case.

Emma was thrilled when Kitty accepted both positions.

The second time Kitty pulled into port at Krakoa, friends were waiting. She spotted Kurt in the distance, perched on a low-growing tree branch talking to Logan. Immediately, her heart began to race, and she focused on being angry and bitter and hardened. _Kate_. If she was working with Emma, she wanted to show the world a different version of herself—tougher, less forgiving, less tolerant of pretty much everything, especially humanity's worst behavior. Mutantkind was done being mistreated. They were powerful now, and not just because of their gifts. They stood up to the humans, with force when necessary. Kitty would have to follow suit.

Emma embraced her, and Kitty didn't even glance in Kurt's direction once Emma started talking. Kitty's psychic shields were robust, but if Emma wanted to go digging, she'd find things. To keep both herself and Emma distracted, Kitty raised a bottle of some kind of alcohol to the cheering Russian mutants on shore.

“I have something to show you,” Emma said, linking her arm through Kitty's elbow as if they were long-time friends.

“More ships?”

“No, there is only the one for now. This is something else. Follow me, darling.”

Kitty followed Emma up a curving path from the main harbor, along a cliffside covered in what looked like oversize red fungi. A carved double door was set into the rock, at least ten feet tall and arched at the top.

“Welcome to Red Keep,” Emma said, and ushered Kitty inside.

“What is this?”

“It's your new home. As Red Queen, you receive... _deluxe_ accommodations. No flower dome house for you, darling. From here, you have easy access to the bay, and all the amenities you could ever dream of. If anything is missing, you simply ask Krakoa for it. The island provides.”

The room she had entered was spacious the way the Xavier School foyer had been. Kitty tried to hide her amazement, but still found her mouth gaping when she tilted her head back to find the ceiling. A chandelier hung at least twenty feet down, and still swung easily ten feet above her head. Red Keep was a castle carved into the stone of the promontory, ostentatious and overdone, but she kept her opinions to herself. Kitty couldn't imagine ever getting used to living in a space like this, after spending nearly her entire life in shared accommodations of some kind. Emma opened another ornately carved door which led to a large bedroom, grander than Kitty had ever known. The carpet, bedspread, even some of the decorations were done in patterns and shades of red. Red had never been Kitty's color, but it came with the role. Lockheed curled up on the pillow without hesitation, at home and untroubled.

“This is...” Kitty turned slowly and took in the space.

When she met Emma's smug face, Kitty could only shake her head in awe.

“I know,” Emma said with a satisfied grin. “Now I have other business to attend to, so I will leave you and Lockheed to enjoy exploring the rest of the place on your own. See you soon.” Emma kissed Kitty's cheek and left by a set of curving stairs.

As soon as Emma was gone, Kitty went looking for the bathroom, washed her face, then inspected the rest of the room. The shower could easily fit at least five people comfortably. Fresh smelling water cascaded from a narrow waterfall, and when Kitty touched it, the water was warm. Beside the shower sat a carved stone tub just as luxurious, with water accessed from another waterfall. How Krakoa heated it, she didn't know, but it was as warm as the shower water and smelled fresh and clean. Maybe Kurt knew how it worked.

Her cheeks grew hot at the thought of him demonstrating the tub's features to her. She went back to the bedroom, picked up her phone, and took it onto the balcony. She hadn't realized how wide it was, or how long, but it ran the length of the rocky projection that housed the Keep.

She wanted to call Kurt, but wasn't sure she should. There was a gate just outside, not that it helped her. Surely it was reasonable to contact her old, dear friend? No one else on the island stayed away from friends. It would be _more_ suspicious if she didn't talk to him.

>You have to see where I live now

>I have

>No fair

>Only from the outside

>Want to see inside?

>You aren't fishing for bragging rights are you, Captain Red?

Did she have anything to tell him if he knew, as he obviously did, that she'd accepted both roles? She still wanted to talk to him though, but did it warrant risking a meeting?

>Maybe

>Logan and I are at the bar. Join us?

>How long is the walk?

>I can pick you up

She hesitated. If she couldn't be alone with him, then in a crowd was the next best option. She sent the final message.

>Sure. Meet you by the gate

  
  


When he stepped through, he looked like he was phasing through a wavy, blurry mirror. Her heart stuttered and her lips tingled with the memory of that brief, almost non-existent kiss. Would he kiss her again?

“Kätzchen!” he called, and swept her into a strong, decidedly platonic, embrace.

He was back to being Kurt as she'd always known him—her friend and teammate, not her confidante in a mystery. And certainly not anything else. He was playing the role here on Krakoa, as she was, but it still left disappointment stirring in her heart. His thumb was rubbing idly over her knuckles as he held her hand.

“Hiya, Kurt. Let's go drink.”

“I heard that's your new pastime. Ororo said you've become quite proficient at it.”

She smirked and held his gaze. “I'm a pirate queen now. Gotta fit the part, you know?”

His eyes seemed full of fire, and his smile melted her inside. The disappointment from earlier vanished as she swallowed, grateful for his hand in hers as they teleported to the center of Krakoa. She could blame her wooziness on the teleport instead of the effects of being next to Kurt and thinking about kissing him.

A single day and night in his presence after years of friendship, and she was swooning over him. Had it really happened that fast, or had the feelings been there longer? Had she denied what she felt for him for the sake of friendship?

There was no time to ponder those things beyond a passing thought, as Logan handed her something in a glass.

“What's this?” Kitty said. Kurt's expression was dubious.

“Krakoa special,” Logan said. “Try it.”

Kitty sipped it. It was strong and too sweet and she hated it. Logan laughed at the face she made, but Kurt took the drink from her and handed it to the bartender. Kitty recognized Fred Dukes, formerly the Blob. He'd grown a mustache that looked pretty good on him. Kurt whispered something to Fred, who nodded, took the sweet drink, and replaced it.

“I think you might prefer this,” Kurt said.

It was better, but still not what she wanted. “Don't you have any regular whiskey?” she asked, then remembered the crates she'd brought Logan. This was why.

“This is the Krakoan equivalent,” Fred said, sliding her a third glass.

That one was the best of the three, so she kept it, sipping at it through the night. She wasn't there to get drunk, she was there to hang out with friends and hopefully find time to get Kurt alone and explain why she'd agreed to work for Emma. _With_ Emma. But they couldn't talk on Krakoa. She had to get them off the island.

The evening wore on, and mutants came and went in the bar. Kitty grew restless, and finally decided to call it a night and have Kurt take her back to Red Keep. If nothing else, they could act like the old friends they were and hang out. If he'd stay. He might not want to. The thought weighed like an anchor, settling in the pit of her stomach. It was silly. He'd kissed her. But it had just been a peck really, nothing romantic about it. There'd been no repeat, and he wasn't acting like he wanted one. Kitty finished her drink, left the glass on the bar, and spun around on the stool.

“Leaving?” Logan said.

On the other side of him, Kurt was listening, drinking something that looked like beer. Each time he took a sip, he scowled into the glass.

“Yeah,” Kitty said. She spotted Illyana across the bar, and an idea took shape. “Yeah, I gotta talk to Illyana to see about a ride to Scotland.”

“What's in Scotland?” Logan said, raising his hand to Fred for another glass.

“Memories,” Kitty said. “And errands.”

Logan grunted. Kurt glanced at her. “You can't possibly miss fish and chips that badly, Kätzchen.”

The casual way he used their code impressed her and comforted her. If he understood what she was doing, it meant he'd follow her. Something warm filled her chest, and it wasn't her drink.

“You'd be surprised.” She patted both on the arm then caught up with Illyana.

Illyana agreed without much question, teasing Kitty about the gates, but also promising to speak to Hank about getting them fixed. Kitty wasn't holding her breath on that, with everything else Hank was dealing with, she didn't think her little problem ranked particularly high on anyone's priority list.

Scotland's Muir Island was as gray as she remembered it, but she hadn't been lying to Logan about the memories. Standing among the stiff grasses with Illyana, the building looked as imposing as it always had, only more so now that it was abandoned. She could almost picture the lights glowing inside the stone walls, coming back from a walk or a mission and knowing who was waiting inside. Her friends who were her family. It hadn't looked quite so lonely and bleak in those days. Illyana put a hand on her hip and elbowed Kitty.

“You don't want me to hang around a while?” she said.

“I'm good,” Kitty said. “Just gonna bask in some memories and then go shopping in the morning.”

“Have Emma contact me when you're ready to come home.” Illyana had never been sentimental, and now she accepted Kitty's wave and vanished in a portal. Kitty stood alone, thistles and grass swishing around her as the wind blew up, salty smelling from the ocean. The gray clouds matched the stone of the building, and Kitty strode forward, knowing rain could strike at any moment.

Kitty phased into the building, hoping Kurt would follow soon. Kitty's feet echoed inside the empty halls of Moira's old research center, even in her rubber-soled boots. The building had never been homey in the sense Xavier's school had been, but it had still been their home. They'd made it a home. The décor was almost non-existent, and what was there was purely functional. There were no carpets in the halls, no unnecessary decorations, and no plush furniture. Only in the dorm wing where they'd lived for several years were there any furnishings left. Kitty poked her head into the room she'd called her own. It was stripped bare, only a mattress on the bed and a barren wardrobe sitting crooked against the wall. Across the hall, Kurt's old room looked much the same—dark and empty. They all did.

An hour passed, then two, and still Kurt did not arrive. Kitty didn't want to call or text him and draw more attention to her unusual departure, but she was beginning to think he wasn't coming. Maybe he hadn't realized what she was doing after all? She gave up on the Research Center and started for the mainland. Without a ferry running, she had to airwalk across the churning bay, but it was far preferable to spending the night in the deserted building.

The Chalk and Cheese was dark, but she sat down on the steps to wait until they opened for breakfast. A late night, early morning, whatever-time-it-was snack would perk her up. While she waited, she thought about everything they'd given up to start over on Krakoa. She wondered if it could ever work. History reminded her painfully that mutant Utopias rarely worked. She only had to think about her late father to know how true that was, and she couldn't help but wonder if this one was doomed to failure, too.

She started when her phone rang.

“Kätzchen,” Kurt said when she answered. “You left in the middle of happy hour. Everyone else has been hanging out all evening.” So that was why he hadn't left.

“It's okay,” she said, “It was spur of the moment.”

“Sometimes those are the best adventures,” he said as the connection stuttered. “But perhaps choose a location with a gate next time, so I can reach you more easily?”

She hadn't thought of that. There was no gate on Muir Island, and none in the little Scottish town just across on the mainland. She realized she didn't actually know _where_ the closest gate was.

“Oops?”

Kurt laughed. “I just came through the Edinburgh gate. We can talk a little more freely. Where are you?”

“Sitting outside the Chalk and Cheese.”

“We definitely need a better plan,” he said. “I don't think I can get there in less than ten hours, without drawing attention to myself.”

Some spy she made. Couldn't even meet up with her spy accomplice. Behind her, the door unlocked, and Kitty stood up. Annie, daughter of the owner and distant relative of Moira's, looked out at her from the window and smiled in recognition. She'd worked here years ago when Excalibur had frequented the place. Kitty waved.

“I'll call you right back,” she said to Kurt, then tucked the phone into her back pocket.

Annie flung wide the door to greet her. “Are you back with Excalibur?” she asked, as Kitty found a table.

“No, just checking on things at Moira's old place.”

Annie's smile dimmed. “Such a shame, losing her like that.”

Kitty nodded. “We all miss her,” she said.

“My dad took it quite hard,” Annie said. “So are you living on that new island?”

Kitty and Annie talked for a few minutes, then Annie took her order and Kitty called Kurt back.

“What do you want to do?” he asked after she filled him in.

She wanted to see him, but she'd made a terrible miscalculation and it wasn't going to happen, unless she could find some way to get to him or meet him halfway. Emma's voice called to her and Kitty went cold.

She hissed into the phone, “Hold on while I talk to Emma.” Kitty opened her mind up to the telepath ringing. “What is it, Emma?” she snapped.

“Where are you?”

“I went out.”

“Why didn't you tell me you were leaving the island?”

“Because you're not my damn mother?”

“Kate, I'm well aware of that.” She huffed in Kitty's mind. “Still, I wish you would have told me. I made plans to discuss our trade routes with Shaw, and he'll gloat when I have to postpone the meeting.”

“He's an ass, Emma. Gloating is his default state.”

Emma made a sound like laughter in Kitty's head. “Where are you?”

Kitty didn't want to tell her, but she didn't have much choice. “Scotland. Thought I left a few things on Muir, but I was wrong, so I'm having breakfast and going shopping.”

Emma hesitated, then said, “If you see Kurt, tell him the Council is meeting tomorrow at ten. He's expected to be there.”

Kitty felt herself blanch. “Isn't he on Krakoa?” she bluffed.

“No, he went through the Edinburgh gate a few minutes ago.”

“Oh. Okay, if I see him, I'll tell him. But I don't expect to be in Edinburgh.”

“It would probably be best if you _could_ meet up with him. I don't like you out there on your own,” Emma said, her concern sounding insincere to Kitty.

“I can take care of myself,” Kitty snapped. She was getting better at channeling her inner angry Kate. “I don't need a babysitter.”

Emma started to reply, but Kitty cut her off. “Thanks for caring. If I see Kurt, I'll give him your message. See you in a few days.” She cut the telepathic connection, she hoped, and waited a little longer. When Emma's voice did not invade her thoughts, she returned to the phone.

“Sorry, are you still there?”

“Still here, Kätzchen. What's going on?”

“Emma just came snooping, wanting to know where I am and why. And they know you're here. She said if I saw you, to remind you about the Council meeting coming up. She knows you went through the gate.”

“ _Verdammt_ ,” he muttered. “I forgot they monitor them.” He cursed again softly, and Kitty wanted to reach out to him. She could imagine the expression on his face and the way he'd be pacing in frustration.

“The good news is, she wants me to find you. Either she thinks I'm incompetent, or she thinks you are.”

“Emma thinks everyone is incompetent. We are not special in that regard.”

“At least we don't need an excuse now,” she said. “I'm leaving as soon as I pay the bill here, but without the old _Midnight Runner_ , I don't know how long it takes to get to Edinburgh from here.”

“About eleven hours,” Annie said, as she came up beside Kitty's elbow. “Sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop.” Annie set the plate of food in front of Kitty with a sheepish smile.

“Eleven hours? There's no faster way?”

Annie shook her head. “Not unless you can manage a last minute flight from Stornoway.”

“I'll try that, Annie. Thanks.”

  
  


As soon as Kitty finished eating, she headed to the airport in Stornoway. It wasn't busy, like it might be in a big city, and she had just missed a departure. There was a flight for Inverness leaving in thirty minutes, though, and from there the attendant said it was under four hours to Edinburgh by car. While she waited, and flew, and rode in the back of the cab, she wondered if all this trouble was worth it to explain something to Kurt that he already knew about. She argued that she owed it to him to offer an explanation, whether he'd figured out her reasons or not. His foster mother Margali had been the Red Queen when she helped bring about the deaths of half a million Londoners, after Amanda gave her the Soul Sword years ago. Kurt deserved to hear from Kitty's own lips that she'd accepted the same title and why.

When she got close to Edinburgh, she called Kurt to get an address for where to meet him, and when at long last she arrived at the hotel, she was exhausted. Time differences and worries meant she was awake well into what would have been her night on Krakoa. She paid the cab driver and took the elevator to the third floor, not bothering to knock when she phased through the door.

Kurt was on his back dozing on the small bed with the television tuned to some innocuous station, the volume low enough to be a kind of humming in the background.

“You made it,” he said, and smiled as he rolled wearily to a sitting position.

“I'm so sorry, this was the worst idea ever.” She dropped onto the end of the bed beside him and leaned over to hug him.

“I disagree. We're here, aren't we?”

Kitty didn't wait. “I need to talk to you about taking these jobs for Emma.”

“Red Queen.”

She couldn't tell if his tone was mocking, disappointed, or just tired. “Yeah. And Captain of the _Marauder_.”

“The _Marauder_?”

Kitty sighed. “Everyone was staring at me, and I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. I'd change it but everyone is already calling us the Marauders.”

“Have you seen the ship yet?” He sat forward, listening, his knee touching hers.

“Only from the outside. It's in the final phase of construction. Bobby, Ororo, and Pyro are gonna crew with me.”

“And what exactly does Ms. Frost have you doing?”

She smiled mischievously. “ _Piratey_ things.”

“ _Verdammt_ , and you did not invite _me_?”

“I wanted to,” she said honestly. “But I was afraid it might blow our cover and cause problems with the Council.”

He looked unhappy, but only at the circumstances, not at her. “ _Ach_ , you're probably right. Well, then, congratulations, Captain. May I take your coat?”

She stood up and let him, fighting goosebumps as his hands brushed the backs of her arms. He draped it carefully over the back of a wooden chair by the window but didn't immediately return to her side.

She took a deep breath. “About the Red Queen...”

“You'll be on Council now,” he said before she could apologize. Maybe he anticipated what she was about to say and didn't want to talk about it. She should have known. He rarely wanted to talk about his family, especially things they'd done that hurt him. But she still knew.

“Yes. And that's why I accepted. I don't trust either of them, and I worried who they'd put in that position if I didn't take it.”

He crossed the room to stop in front of her. She studied his eyes and his tight smile and wished he'd trust her with the worry that made that line between his brow.

“I agree. I heard Emma asked Ororo, but she declined. I'm sure Shaw had his sights set on some crony of his. It's a good move, Kätzchen. I'd have done the same.”

“You're okay with this?” she said.

He sat down again and took her hand in his. “Is there a reason I should not be?”

Impulsively, she reached up and pressed her thumb along the crease, then followed the line of his jaw with her fingers until self-consciousness made her drop her hands. “I was thinking of Margali.”

His eyes followed her hand, and he twined his fingers between hers before he spoke. “Fortunately, Kätzchen, you are nothing like her.” He raised her hand to kiss her fingers. “Having an ally among the Hellfire table is a good move.”

Kitty was tired enough that she was tempted to take the one last step forward that would let her fall against him, forget all the business they had to discuss, and give in to the desire to be comforted. She indulged for a moment, until she remembered something else she'd wanted to ask him, and couldn't on Krakoa. She sat down on the end of the bed instead. Kurt followed, still holding her hand.

“I don't understand why Xavier insisted on having Shaw on Council. Working for Hellfire, maybe I could see that...but _leading_ us? He knows what that man's like.”

“ _Ja_ , but he seems determined to overlook every mutant's previous indiscretions. Except Sabretooth, apparently.”

“It's suspicious.”

“I agree.” His thumb rubbed circles over the back of her hand.

“I don't trust her, Kurt. And I trust Shaw even less.”

“Nor do I, so you must remain alert and cautious. Having Bobby and Ororo aboard is good to hear, but as I said, Ororo seems as mixed up in this as the professor. Bobby seems less so. Stick close to him.”

The realization that so many of her friends might be victims of some kind of manipulation or mind control hit her heavily and she let herself fall back on the bed. Kurt leaned down, bracing on his elbow to look at her. His tail was unusually still. All of him was, she realized. She wondered how long he'd been awake waiting for her.

“You look so tired, Kurt.”

Her words prompted a wide yawn. “It's late for me.”

“I'm sorry. This was the first place I thought of,” she said, twining her fingers in and out of his.

“I wasn't complaining. I will go anywhere you are.”

“I wanted to go somewhere that felt like home. I thought Muir...but it didn't.”

He was still looking down at her and she had the sudden urge to reach up and trace his features. They'd been alone for almost an hour, and he had made no move to kiss her. Then again, neither had she.

“I need to leave in time for the Council session, but there is probably time for a nap, if you're so inclined.”

She opened her eyes to his golden ones, watching intently for his reaction. She gave into the urge to touch him, fingers grazing his cheeks, stopping just short of his lips. He tilted his head to follow the motion, tired eyes drifting half-closed.

“Yeah,” she said. “I could use one.”

For a moment neither of them moved, Kurt seemingly immobilized by her hand on his cheek. She kicked off her boots and shoved herself up the bed, watching him watch her. Kurt seemed to stretch as he slid up beside her and reached for the alarm. She reached for him before he was done, walking her fingers across his waist and grasping the hem of his shirt. This time there was no hesitation as he turned towards her and laid his arm along her spine. She wiggled closer until she was curled in the hollow of his body, his heartbeat beneath her ear. She wanted to lie there and talk quietly but she fell asleep almost immediately.

  
  


The alarm was a harsh wake-up, and Kurt's arm flailed back to shut it off. Kitty held her nose as she yawned. It was still tender, and certain motions made her imagine the bone inside was shifting. Kurt lay on his back, rubbing his eyes, one arm still under her. Kitty sat up, freeing him, and crossed her legs. She shivered at the sudden loss of his heat.

“Is it far to the gate?” she said. Her hair was unruly and slipping free of her ponytail, so she took it down and combed through it with her fingers.

He shook his head, yawned, and sat up, his face intimately close. “Not far.”

“How much time do you have?”

He glanced at the clock and scratched his head. “Thirty minutes if I cut it close.”

If only she'd thought things through more carefully, they might have had more time together. She abandoned the ponytail that wouldn't stay up, and tipped her forehead against his shoulder with a sigh.

“What about next time? With them monitoring the gates, this isn't going to work.”

“We'll think of something. We're not prisoners. Not really.” He looked at his hands. “Not caged, at least.”

His hands twisted in his lap until she touched him. “You're right, we'll figure it out. We're a good team.”

“We always have been.” He sighed, kissed her head, and stood up briskly, sparing one last glance at the clock. “I have to check out, and get to the gate. Ready?”

She fetched her coat and followed him out the door.

  
  


The gate was in a park, unguarded and mostly ignored. As they approached, a nervous looking woman got close, touched it with her hands, then ran through gleefully.

“You're sure you have a way home?” Kurt said. He held her hand, standing beside the gate, as the minutes counted down.

“I'm sure. But you better go. If you keep being late, they'll start watching you.”

“ _Ja_ , you're right.” He still didn't move except to rub her hand between his.

“I'll see you soon.” Kitty let go of him and folded her hands behind her back. If they got caught, she didn't know what Xavier would do. They might do what they'd done to Sabretooth. Or kill them, then resurrect them without the memory of their friendship. The thought made her stomach twist. “I promise.”

He nodded, then darted forward to kiss her cheek. Kitty grabbed the back of his neck and kissed his mouth. Then she pushed him toward the gate. “Go.”

He stumbled through backwards and she turned and walked away. The last thing she saw was the white of his grin and the curl of his tail as he fell through the gate she couldn't use.


	3. To Find a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders learn of Xavier's assassination. Kurt and Kitty would like some time alone.

Batroc begged Kitty not to scuttle his ship, but orders were orders, and Shaw was an ass. Kitty was more than eager to send him a strong message about his job in the trading corporation. If the Marauders hadn't been needed in Taipei, she would have sailed home just to see the look on his face when Emma told him the fate of his ship and its cargo.

After selling the boat to the highest bidder, they passed the time in a bar, waiting for their meeting with Lucas Bishop. Kitty had gotten pretty good at acting more drunk than she was. She let the crew cut loose and danced wildly with them, hoping one might let slip some piece of information she and Kurt could use, but she ended up being late to meet Bishop instead.

“Xavier's dead. Assassins made it onto the island,” Bishop said. His blunt announcement stopped them all in their tracks, mouths gaping and eyes wide as they processed his news. Kitty took a swig of rum because it seemed like the way Kate would react to bad news.

The man she and Kurt believed responsible for the changes in their friends was dead. That seemed likely to ruin any big plans he might have, unless Erik intended to carry on without him. Bobby mentioned the resurrection protocols, but Kitty didn't know if he could _be_ resurrected. Wasn't he the one who restored their psyches, using Cerebro? She had no idea how that might work. A more pressing thought was who else had been hurt or killed. She was almost afraid to ask Bishop.

“Any other casualties?” she said.

Bishop's frown deepened. “Thirty-three.”

Kitty tossed back another swallow of rum because she wanted it, then stepped forward with determination in her eyes. “Our friends?”

“Most weren't involved or injured. Jean is looking into Cerebro. She thinks she can bring Charles back.”

It was as close to an answer as she could expect without asking specifically, so she just nodded and led the team into a tattoo parlor to wait for Emma's signal. Kitty had never considered tattoos before, but in light of recent events, and the new version of herself she was presenting to the world, she decided to do something bold. Pyro's facial tattoo, however, made hers look like a newbie's. While the tattoo artist worked, she considered pulling out her phone and texting Kurt, just to make sure he was all right. But one hand was being tattooed, and the other was holding the bottle of rum. She overpaid for everything and took someone's red coat with her when she left to meet Gateway.

Emma's word had finally come through, that the _Marauder_ was ready. Gateway transported them to London where Bishop's repeated requests for help in Taipei were tabled in favor of inspecting their new home. Even Ororo was duly impressed. Kitty wished Kurt could see it, could have a cabin on it. Could share her cabin. Grumpy and homesick, she left her crew to do some shopping in London. She wanted new clothes and boots to match her pirate jacket. Kurt would be so jealous.

She texted him while she shopped, terrified for his safety until he replied twenty minutes later with apologies.

>I am sorry I missed your message

>No problem, as long as you're all right

>I am. Eating cereal and trying to stay calm.

>You're good at that.

>Just announced a daily EMP blast. I will lose the phone. Be safe

>Okay. You too.

Kitty began thinking of alternative means of communication that didn't rely on the island's biotech or telepaths. Nothing came to her that wouldn't be affected by the daily EMP blast. The setback annoyed her, but she didn't bother suppressing it. Her lousy mood was ideal for the tone of her upcoming meeting.

  
  


Kitty arrived at Shaw's London headquarters to find Emma pinned to the wall in her diamond form while Shaw screamed in her face. Emma could hold her own, but Shaw's violence didn't bode well for the future of working with him, and it infuriated Kitty. She might not trust Emma, but she'd be damned if she'd let a man put his hands on her in rage. Especially _that_ man.

“I'm the Red Queen, _bitch_ ,” she said, pouring more rum into her glass. She strolled over while he gawked like an idiot, then dumped the rum on his head. “Touch either of us again, Shaw, and I'll let Lockheed castrate you.”

Emma laughed. Kitty ignored her, all her attention on Shaw. He released Emma, wiping in fury at his dripping face and hair.

“You little bitch!” He lunged for her, but her intangibility only made him angrier.

Kitty looked at Emma while Shaw made another pass at Kitty's untouchable form. “Should we remove him from Hellfire Trading altogether? I'm not sure he's _emotionally_ _stable_ enough to manage the black market deliveries after all.”

Shaw stopped raging, eyes burning with hate. “You wouldn't dare...”

“Oh, I would,” Kitty said, and she stepped into his personal space. “Try me.”

Shaw finally sat down in his chair with a growl, kicking childishly at the table leg. Kitty followed Emma's lead, not sitting until Emma did, then spent the next few hours dealing with Hellfire Trading supply chain problems and solutions. Shaw was a problem, but he was Emma's to deal with. If the White Queen didn't like it, she could take it up with Xavier.

Kitty spent a good deal of the voyage home trying to figure out a way to see Kurt and talk to him without being watched or drawing undue notice. Since the _Marauder_ had been built under Emma's supervision, Kitty had no doubt there was surveillance equipment all over it. She didn't plan to have any private conversations on board. But she could still take him for a ride. She only needed a destination.

Kitty tried his phone, but as he'd warned, it wasn't working. Fortunately, their returns were usually broadcast by Black Tom and the numerous island telepaths. Logan was waiting for his next shipment of booze and meat, and Kurt was with him. She waved at them, and Logan swam out to get his stash while Kitty's crew disembarked and headed inland for some island fun. Kitty took a seat on the branch beside Kurt and dug her new boots into the sand.

“Welcome home, Kätzchen,” Kurt said, bracing his arms on his knees. He noticed her boots and the new clothes, but did not remark on them.

“When's the next Council meeting?” she said.

He sighed and muttered, “Probably the second I get you alone.”

She snapped her mouth shut on a sharp inhale and dug her feet deeper into the sand, crossing and uncrossing her arms.

“I hope Logan found the whiskey,” she said when she recovered her composure.

She was sure Kurt was grinning, though his mouth was still set and his gaze never left the ship. “He probably stopped to open one.”

She fought her own smile, staring at her feet and flicking sand. “So. What do you think of the _Marauder_?”

“It's grand, Kätzchen.” He turned to her at last, and took his time inspecting her captain's garb. “And you look the part of a ravishing pirate queen, even if your ship lacks the black sails.”

“I'm not a villainous pirate,” she said, her mouth gone dry. “I'm more like Robin Hood, if he was a pirate.”

“And a beautiful woman.”

Her cheeks burned, and she tucked nonexistent hair behind her ear. “Does that make you Maid Marian?” she said, feeling a bit proud of herself.

“I hope so.”

Kitty was actually grateful when Logan appeared on deck, tossing a wooden crate over the side, and began swimming back to shore. Her breath was still too fast and shallow, and her heart was still racing, but she managed to say, “He found it.”

“ _Ja_ , it seems he did.” Kurt sounded like himself again, and a quick glance told her he was back to staring at the ocean. Maybe her cheeks would cool down before Logan reached them.

“How are things on Krakoa lately?” she said.

“Jean resurrected the professor.”

Kitty sat forward. “She did? When? How?”

“Cerebro, the Five...I don't know exactly. Only that he is back.” Kurt paused, then said, “Did you bring Logan the cereal he asked for?”

She glanced back at Logan's approaching form coming up the beach. It was the second time a mention of the professor had spurred him to use their code. “He didn't ask for any this time.”

Logan stopped in front of them and dropped the crate in the sand. “Thanks, Kitty, I owe ya. Nice coat.”

“Thanks. I think I rival Keira Knightley.”

“Kätzchen is fishing for compliments, Logan.”

“You bet. Tell me I'm pretty, Logan,” she said, posing with her foot on the branch where she'd been sitting, keeping her eyes on Logan.

Logan only grunted and ignored her. “Elf dishes that out, kid, not me. Thanks for the booze.” He clapped a hand on her shoulder and trudged off into the woods.

Kurt looked at her and said, “Keira Knightley cannot compare. And as I recall, she was taking her boots _off_ in that scene.”

Kitty's face went hot and she put her foot down slowly. “She wasn't wearing _her_ boots. They were Will Turner's.”

“Hm.” He stuck his feet out and wiggled his toes. “I don't think we could pull that off, Kätzchen.”

“You wanna see the ship, Will Turner?” she said, suddenly desperate to get him anywhere off that island.

For all his flirting and innuendo, he remained serious. “Not yet. I need to talk to you.”

“Kurt...” she waved her hands at the beach and the jungle behind them, making a face to remind him it wasn't safe. But he knew that even better than she did.

He nodded and patted the branch. “Please, sit.”

She sat.

“I was not there when the professor was killed,” he said. “But Logan saw it. The professor tried to talk the assassin out of shooting him, but it didn't work. He had his hands up, and they shot him anyway.”

Kitty tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at him in disbelief. Kurt looked at her pointedly, expecting her to figure out something he wasn't saying.

“He just stood there, with his hands up? And the guy shot him?”

“Yes,” Kurt said. “No one could stop it.”

Xavier was the most powerful telepath in the world, or close to it. He regularly used his mental prowess to manipulate people. He'd done it when he saved Kurt's life years ago, halting an entire mob of people. Her eyes widened with realization.

She mouthed, “He let them.”

Kurt's expression answered her. They stared at the ocean, the beach around them deceptively quiet and empty. Kitty knew that every grain of sand on it belonged to Krakoa, every branch, every leaf was the island's. Nothing was beyond the scope of Krakoa's awareness when they were here.

Kurt turned to her with a wide grin, its insincerity obviously part of his act. “A tour of Red Keep, Captain Pryde? I've still never seen the inside, but I have it on good authority that it's...beautiful.”

The way he said the last word sent thrills up her spine. Every time she thought she had herself under control, he said something else that made her heart race and her skin tingle.

“Sure.”

  
  


He wasn't really looking at Kitty's living quarters. Then again, she wasn't actually giving a tour. She was standing in the foyer, with its red walls and some sort of stone with a red tint covering the floor. She pointed at one door, then another, listing off what rooms were behind them.

“It is indeed beautiful,” he said, never taking his eyes from her.

“Kurt...” She took a step in his direction, and he turned abruptly towards one of the doors, pointing absently.

“You said there was a balcony?”

Kitty halted in confusion, her head spinning. “There's a balcony...yeah...through the bedroom,” she stammered. “I'll show you.”

She opened the door and walked through, not looking back. Let him follow her or not. The balcony doors were already open and Lockheed perched on the railing, sunning himself after their latest journey. She patted his head as Kurt strolled up to stand beside her. He leaned on his arms, stretching his back as his tail languorously curled behind him as the sea breeze ruffled his curls. Foam bubbled up around the rocks and a large bird passed overhead.

“I do like your pirate coat,” he said.

“I knew you'd get a kick out of it. Figure if I'm a pirate captain, I should look the part.” Lockheed flew back into the room, and Kitty turned, leaned back on the rail facing her bedroom. “Now what?”

“I would love to sail with you someday.”

She hated this—talking in circles, always afraid to say too much. Bad enough they had to be so careful talking about the professor and the island, but now he was talking in riddles about _her_ as well. She wanted to pinch her nose in frustration, but it was too painful so she curled her hand in a fist instead.

“Kurt, what are you doing? Are you messing with me or what?”

He moved closer and offered his hand. She hesitated. If he was teasing, he would have stopped now. Wouldn't he? She laid her hand in his palm, and he drew her into his arms. His breath tickled the loose strands of hair at her ear as he whispered.

“Come away with me.”

Her heart flipped and there was no way he could miss her reaction, nor could she misunderstand him. He knew exactly what he was saying and doing, how the velvet of his cheek brushed hers, how the motion of his thumb on her wrist made her pulse race. Her mouth had gone dry and her skin felt like she'd sailed through a lightning storm. She swallowed a few times and made her voice light when she spoke aloud.

“Come on board anytime. It's one of the perks of being Captain. I get to bring any guests I want. Emma even said so.”

At the mention of her name, Emma's voice rang out in their heads. “Neither of you can go. Council is meeting and you're both needed.”

“Told you,” Kurt said. He eased her from his embrace, letting his hands slide over her back before extending his hand instead. “May I?”

Kitty's head spun. Shallow breaths made it hard to speak at first. “I really hate teleporting. Can't you get them to fix the gates?”

“I promise, I'm doing my best. If they won't figure it out, I will.”

Kitty held her breath and a second later looked around the Council space for the first time. Emma indicated a seat at the Hellfire table.

“Thanks for the ride, Kurt,” Kitty said as casually as she could manage, and walked away from him to join Emma and Shaw.

News out of Brazil wasn't good. Armed guards were physically detaining mutants attempting to access the gates, shooting those who refused to cooperate. A small group of children had been chased from their homes and were hiding out in the jungle near a beach, where the Marauders would be sent to retrieve them.

Kitty sat through the meeting with her fist on her chin, hoping she looked suitably bored. She never looked at Kurt unless she looked at all of them. Seeing former enemies on the governing council in person, rather than simply knowing they held seats, was disconcerting. Part of her wanted to believe that things really had changed. The ideal of it was tempting, but she knew too much of the truth. After the meeting, Kurt offered a teleport back to the harbor.

“I can take her,” Ororo said.

“Thanks anyway,” Kitty told him, forcing herself to walk away from him and take Ororo's hand instead.

As they flew, Ororo said, “I see you and Kurt are reconnecting. He has been out of sorts for some time now. I think he misses being part of a team.”

Kitty's stomach fluttered. “Yeah, I bet.”

“Why did you not invite him to join the Marauders?”

“Figured we already had two Council members on the crew and that was plenty.”

“That was wise of you, Kitten.” Ororo set them down on the deck of the ship as Bobby and Pyro joined them.

“Brazil, here we come,” Bobby yelled as they headed out.

Kitty glanced back at Krakoa as they pulled away, searching the beach or the cliffs for a certain blue-furred elf. She wondered what he did while she was away. Council didn't meet daily, in spite of how often their schedule seemed to interfere with her and Kurt's meetings. What else did he do? What else _was_ there to do, except drink that mediocre Krakoan whiskey and make babies? The thought disagreed with her, so she went back to watching the horizon and listening to Pyro and Lockheed playing around.

  
  


Immediately after rescuing the kids from Brazil and sending them through the _Marauder's_ gate, Kitty turned the ship towards Taipei to help Bishop with the issues there. A wealthy woman named Chen Zhao had claimed her husband touched the gate and mysteriously vanished. She blamed the mutants for her husband's disappearance, but there was no record of him ever passing through the gate. Bishop suspected a setup, and procured plans to her apartment. With Kitty's help, they snuck inside, and in the center of it, they discovered her husband. He treated them like celebrities, or more, and Bishop explained that he was a member of a group called the Order of X, which had begun to worship mutants as gods. Unfortunately, his wife was less fond of mutants, though her hatred for them didn't stop her from hiring them as guards.

Two women burst into the cramped room where Lim had been held captive, their fingers unnaturally long and sharp.

“Lady Deathstrike?” Kitty wondered aloud, as she dodged their attack almost perfectly.

One connected with her nose, breaking it again. She didn't have time to dwell on the pain this time, and Kurt wasn't going to pop out of the shadows and set it for her. Kitty and Bishop took out the two women, then rushed Lim Zhao to his wife's rally to put her in her place.

Kitty let her anger show, marching up to Zhao and announcing her lies to the crowd of onlookers. She was tired of mutants being made scapegoats by humans. She was tired of taking their hate and giving nothing back. Even as the desire to fight back grew, she knew they had to leave before the crowd rushed the stage.

Later, Kitty leaned against the bow of the ship, letting the wind blow her hair in her face. Her nose hurt, not as badly as the first time, but it hurt, and her eyes stung. She'd wanted to hurt Chen Zhao. She had enjoyed humiliating her on that stage, too. Kitty had never been that kind of person before. She'd always stood up for what was right, and a few times had stood up for Kurt to mobs and hateful men. But she'd never wished she could hurt them, destroy them, make them pay. The feeling left her unsettled and restless.

She wished Kurt had been with her, wished to see him so badly her whole chest ached. Most of all, she wished she could talk to him, without worrying about who was listening in or what they might think. Why hadn't she just asked him to be on the crew with her instead of worrying about making people suspicious? They'd been friends for years. It wouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone.

No one was on shore this time when they arrived, so Kitty went to Red Keep alone. She examined her swollen nose in the mirror, hesitantly touching it to see if it felt out of place. She took her hair down, tossing the elastic onto the dresser and wondering if she dared take a shower here. Everywhere she went, on Krakoa or the _Marauder_ , she felt invisible eyes and ears around her. It was exhausting and she wanted to run away from it. If she could use the gates then even though they'd know where she went, once there, they couldn't keep tabs on her. At least, she didn't think they could. Who knew what the telepaths were up to? Maybe they'd become so powerful her psychic shields couldn't keep them out anymore. Maybe nothing she and Kurt did to hide what they were doing and thinking was working and they already knew everything. Maybe they were being allowed to go on believing they were successful because they hadn't gotten in the way yet. Or because they were being kept from seeing the real danger. That thought made her pause, eyeing her room like another Lady Deathstrike might leap from a corner any moment and drag her down to Krakoan purgatory in vine handcuffs.

Her Krakoan phone buzzed an incoming text, and when she picked it up, her whole body flooded with relief, and then stomach-fluttering excitement. Kurt wanted to stop by. Of course she said yes. By the time she made it from her bedroom to the front door, he was walking through the gate to meet her. Kitty kept walking until her arms went around him and she could lay her cheek on his shoulder.

“What happened to your nose?” he said.

“Some women in Taipei happened.” Kitty stepped back so they could go to her living room and sit. She told him the story of Lim and Chen Zhao and getting her nose broken again. She wanted to tell him everything else, too, her sense of foreboding and feeling watched, her need to get away, her desire to kiss him again—a real kiss, long and soft and spine-tingling.

“Did you ice it?” he said.

“Bobby did, yeah.”

She slid closer on the red velvet couch so she could press her shoulder against his, and he put his arm around her. Leaning into him felt like breathing out everything troubling her. She relaxed completely and he put his other arm around her. They sat like that for a while, and she told him about the mutant worshiping group and Bishop's hesitation to be her official Red Bishop.

“Tomorrow I have to meet with Emma and Shaw and their bishops, too, to go over the Madripoor run. I think Shaw wants to pawn it off on me.”

Kurt let her talk, only asking questions here and there. The rest of the time he simply listened, occasionally kissing her hair while he rubbed lightly at the back of her neck.

“I think Bobby's dating Christian Frost,” she said. “I don't know what that means for his position on the Marauders. I'm a little worried he might leave and join Christian's team.”

“Why does it worry you?”

“For one, I don't trust Christian Frost. He's as bad as Emma. For another, I like Bobby. And I'd have to replace him. I don't know who I'd ask.”

Kurt's fingers stopped moving at the back of her head, and he chuckled softly. “I can think of at least one person who would not turn down an invitation to join your crew.”

“We talked about that, though. Having you here and me out there is good for—for everything. Council needs you, and you know I can't be the one who stays here.”

“I've made no progress on the mystery of the gates,” he said, letting go to pull her hair to one side. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, “But no one else is working on it, either.”

She was so busy noticing the way his lips brushed her ear she almost didn't realize what he had said. “What?”

“Shh,” he whispered, lips dusting her ear again. She wished he'd do that more. “Can't talk here.”

“Or think,” she whispered back, turning her head slightly so his lips brushed her cheek. “Or anything else.”

“Then let's go somewhere else,” he said, not lifting his lips from her cheek as he spoke.

“Where?”

“I have somewhere in mind.”

“I can't use the gates,” she replied, her voice scarcely above a whisper, though they were no longer talking about secrets. “But I have a fast ship.”

“Dinner,” he said aloud. “The Marshall Islands are close enough to make it there by dinnertime.”

Kitty twisted around fully, loosening his grip on her as she did. “Let's hurry before they call another damn Council meeting.”

Kurt hopped up and grabbed her hand, walking beside her down the rocks of Red Keep to the harbor. She treated the _Marauder_ like an extension of Krakoa, so the ride was quiet and full of vague conversations about island life and rescuing mutants. If she stood a little too close or he let his hand drift down her arm, sending shivers up her spine, it was purely accidental of course.


	4. Alright for Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty and Kurt get away for a while and enjoy some quality time. 
> 
> Shaw is treacherous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick mention that the chapter title is Tom Petty's and I know it should be All Right, not Alright. :-)
> 
> No smut here, folks, only suggestions of it.

Krakoa's current location meant it was a ninety minute ride to Majuro, a coral atoll in the Marshall Islands and its capital. Kurt had done his research, Kitty learned, and knew exactly where to go and who to ask for to get the best service without any trouble. They were seated in a corner booth that gave them a little privacy while still providing a view of the lagoon.

“They have pizza?” Kitty said when she opened the menu. “Krakoa doesn't have pizza.”

“Then get pizza.”

“Oh, I am,” she said, and set the menu down decisively. “This is like freedom. God, Kurt, I can't stand it on that island, it's like someone's always watching and listening. Even on the ship, I feel that way. Nothing feels private, even bathing.” She shuddered to drive the point home. “I was standing in the middle of my own home feeling like I couldn't even undress without...” She looked out the window. “It's creepy.”

“When is your meeting with Emma?”

“And Shaw. Tomorrow afternoon.”

Kurt adjusted his menu and cleared his throat. “We could stay here tonight, at the hotel. You can shower away from prying eyes.”

“Okay,” she said without hesitation. “Let's do it.”

Kurt set the menu down with a sly grin. “I already did.”

“You already...what? You did?”

He looked less pleased with himself after her incredulous response. “I took a chance and hoped you'd agree. We've been interrupted so many times and...They assured me there are plenty of rooms this time of year, if you'd like your own. I feel the way you do about the island, and we haven't been able to talk freely...”

She put a hand on his arm to stop him, and waited for him to see the glee in her face before she said, “One room is plenty.”

His easy demeanor returned along with the waiter, who took their orders and delivered a basket of bread. The pizza was delicious, and Kitty ate so much she declined dessert, even though it, too, looked delicious.

“We could take it with us to the room and eat it in the middle of the night.”

Kitty looked across the table at him seriously. “This is what I miss most,” she said.

“Pizza?”

“No, this.” She waved her hands at the table and him. “Being normal together. Not having to ask an island to make me a pizza that isn't going to taste like a pizza, or heat my water for me so I can stand in a shower trying to decide which way to face so Krakoa can't...” She stopped. “I miss this. I miss _you_.”

Under the table, his tail curled loosely around her ankle and he reached across to stroke her cheek. “I'm here. We're together now. And I will always be here for you.”

“And I'll always be here for you, too.”

She turned to kiss his palm.

“I don't think Krakoa is looking, Kätzchen,” he said, not teasing. “But I could ask Doug to check. I would speak on my own behalf, of course.”

“No, it's okay. I'm sure it's all in my head. All this spy talk.”

He lowered his hand and Kitty caught it. She never wanted to let go of him.

“It is not okay if it's bothering you. Krakoa is far from an ideal home, but it's what we have right now, and I want you to be as happy as you can be.”

She eyed him. “Why?” she said, suspicious that he was being swayed by Xavier at last.

“If you are happy there, or at least happy _enough_ , then perhaps you won't always want to leave.”

She smiled and rubbed her thumb across his hand. “I'm happy when you're there.”

“Unfortunately, I cannot always be where you are.”

“No, I know, I didn't mean—”

“Yes, but—”

The waiter brought their check, and they thanked him and praised the food and service, then sent him away with the payment and plenty of tip.

“Well,” Kitty said.

“We are here now,” Kurt said.

“Shouldn't let the moment go to waste.”

“Would you like to walk along the beach with me?”

“Yes, I would.”

A thin line of clouds turned darker pink as the sun set, and behind it another line burned orange and yellow. She leaned back against Kurt's chest as they watched the sky change colors, fading to dark blue and gray. For a while the only sound was the sea below them and the call of sea birds heading home for the night. Kurt's embrace anchored her, even on this island so new to her and so different from Krakoa. She turned in his arms as the sun's brilliance faded completely.

Kitty laid her hand on his chest, his heartbeat a soft rhythm under her palm. His sweater was thin cotton, and beneath it, the fine velvety fur shifted as she dragged her fingers slowly down. She explored every smooth valley and rise of muscle and the hard pebble of his nipple, her breath coming in short little gasps. He never moved until she reached the hem of the sweater and lifted her eyes to his face. He'd been watching the path of her hand as he held her waist, but now he focused on her mouth. She sank into his lips as they covered hers, soft and gentle, every nerve electrified. She parted her lips against his, closed her arms around his neck, and sighed. The coarser curls of his hair wound around her fingers at his neck, his hands roaming her back bunched her shirt and she wanted it off. She wanted to feel that magnificent body pressed to hers, his heartbeat next to her own. Everything felt right, like she'd always known he would feel perfect in her arms. She felt no worry or fear, only warmth of affection and the peace that came with unshakable trust. She hardly noticed the wind whipping up after the sun's descent. Kurt's arms and lips held all her attention.

His lips parted from hers by degrees, brushing her cheek when he spoke. “It's getting chilly.”

“Should we go inside?”

“Do you still want to stay tonight?”

She slid her hands down his chest and back up to his neck, tilting her head as she smiled at him. “Try to make me leave.”

Kitty reached up and kissed him again, her fingers smoothing over the nape of his neck while his hands tangled in her hair. When the kiss ended, Kitty was breathless.

“Now we should definitely go inside,” Kurt said, nuzzling at her cheek.

“I need to go to the boat first,” she said. “I need clothes and stuff.” She raised a brow at him. “What about you?”

He shrugged. “I was a bit more focused on other things. I didn't pack.”

“I'll bring you a spare toothbrush, but unless you want to borrow some of Pyro's—”

“No, thank you.”

She laughed softly.

“I'll check in and text the room number to you.”

  
  


Kitty ran to the dock, phasing through everything in her way and diving through the deck of the _Marauder_ to her cabin. Adrenaline fueled her racing heart and she had to pause to remember where she was and that she had to be careful to keep her psychic shields in place. A few clean underthings, fresh outfit, and toothbrushes, and she was dashing back up to the hotel in the dark, heedless of everything except being back in Kurt's arms as fast as possible. If Emma interrupted her tonight, she swore she'd phase her heart out and feed it to Sebastian Shaw.

In her rush she'd missed Kurt's text, but the room number was there when she checked in the lobby, and like last time, she didn't bother knocking. Kurt was closing the curtains when she came in, and he turned around when he heard her footsteps. She wasted precious seconds staring at him before tossing her toiletry bag and clothes into the bathroom and crossing the room to meet him.

His tender kisses made her want more, and she pressed eagerly against him, trying at the same time to get her coat off without phasing and losing contact with him. He took it by the collar, dropping it to the floor. As thrilling as her thoughts about Kurt the past weeks had been, helping him undress made her giddy. She had to touch him, run her hands over every newly revealed part of him, had to get her own clothes off so she could feel more of him.

They tumbled to the bed with some care for her injury, legs and arms sliding over skin. His lips and hands left a burning path over her body. All her worries, Krakoa, the professor, the gates, washed away in the wake of his touch, and one incredible, blissful journey home.

  
  


The single lamp on the desk was the only light in the room, but she didn't need it to know he was looking at her, as happy and content as she was. Her leg was draped over his knee and his tail slid up and down her calf, soothing and tempting at once. Her fingers drifted across his back, touching simply because she could.

“Do we dare mix business and pleasure?” Kurt said as his tail followed the curves of her body.

“You wanna talk about the professor's death.”

“I think we should, before we get too distracted.”

Kitty ran her hand over the base of his tail and across his hip. “Before?”

His grin was wicked. “ _Again_.”

Her cheeks warmed at the suggestion, but he had a point. There was a lot to talk about and she assumed they might want to sleep a little. Maybe.

“You think he let himself get shot,” she said.

“I do. He could have made the shooter stop easily. Why didn't he?”

His hand drifted idly across her shoulder and down her side to rest briefly at her hip. He rubbed soft circles, tracing the bone before gliding across her backside and down the back of her thigh.

“Hmmm,” she murmured into his chest. “I don't think you want to talk business at all.”

“Not really.”

Kitty persisted, determined to get through the most important points before she succumbed to him again. “Is he trying to prove something? Maybe prove that the resurrection protocols are safe?”

Kurt considered the idea while Kitty nibbled behind his ear. “It is possible. Or it could be a distraction from something else.” He pulled her over him so he could free both his hands to touch her. “The professor must have known Jean could operate Cerebro, or he would not have taken such a chance.”

Kitty suddenly remembered another fear and braced her hands on his chest to peer down at him. “Do you think he knows what we're doing?”

Kurt grinned and pulled her down to nuzzle at her neck, his tail looping around her thigh. “I certainly hope not.”

She was too happy to care that he was joking about something so serious. “If he does,” she managed to gasp out, “he must be jealous.”

“Of you or me?” Kurt replied, lifting his face with a satisfied grin and rolling them over.

Kitty took advantage of the pause in action. “Both of us. Look where we started, and look where we are now.”

His smile became even more devilish. “I see where we are now, and I like it.”

Kitty's face went hot, and she leaned up to kiss him. “So do I.” She swept the curls off his forehead and raked her fingers into his hair. “Even when I was a dumb kid, scared of you, I knew I could always count on you.”

He turned serious and touched her cheek, then kissed her. She moved closer, craving his warmth and the soft brush of fur against places that were still new to the sensation. Kurt rolled to his back, and she settled comfortably into the familiar dip of his shoulder.

“He and Erik, even when they were rivals, were always friends,” Kurt said. “And Moira, too. But you're right. I don't know if he's ever had someone to rely on, or trust so completely.”

She wanted to comment on that, on what it meant about his feelings for her, but the thought of Charles being aware of their espionage, however feeble it was, worried her. She lifted her head.

“Seriously though, do you think he knows? I had this thought...what if he's just letting us get away with it? What if we dig too far, and get too close to the truth? Would he punish us like he did Sabretooth?”

“I doubt it,” he said, though he sounded less than confident. “He'd need Council's approval for that. We're both too high-profile at this point, and it would raise too many questions if he did it behind their backs. More likely he'd have us killed, then alter our memories when we were resurrected.”

“Cerebro stores all our memories, right?” Kitty felt the cold of dread seeping into her bones. “So wouldn't it be storing all of this, too?”

She felt Kurt swallow. “Yes. I've thought about that.” He began running a hand through her hair. “I tried asking around a little about how much the professor is aware of when he replaces our psyches during resurrection, but no one seemed to know anything, and I didn't dare ask him directly.”

“He resurrected you once already.”

“I remember.”

She managed a silent chuckle. “I'm glad I didn't know about that when it happened. Losing you once was hard enough. I don't know how I'd get through it again.”

“I pray I am wrong about the island and the professor, because if I am, then we have nothing to fear from death anymore.”

“But I don't think you _are_ wrong.”

“Neither do I.”

Kitty kissed his chest. “Please be careful.”

“And you as well.” He didn't have to say what he was worried about. Kitty shared the same fears. If the gates didn't work for her, and she couldn't even phase through most of Krakoa, would the resurrection protocols fail her, too?

“I think we still have to keep trying to find answers. We were X-Men, we never turned our backs on people, even when it was scary. And these are our people. If there is something wrong on Krakoa—and I think there is—then every mutant in the world could be in trouble.”

“We'll keep investigating,” Kurt said. “I've no intention of giving that up.”

For a while they lay in silence. If Charles knew, there was nothing they could do about it.

“I wonder,” Kurt said eventually, “Why do you and I seem to be the only ones asking questions? And if we aren't, who else is?”

“I wondered about that, too, and I could only come up with two things. I can't use the gates, and you can't die.”

“But I _can_ die. I was resurrected, as you just said.”

“But...are you sure it's what it appears to be?”

He lifted his head from the pillow to look at her. “What are you thinking, Kätzchen?”

“It's just a theory, but...what if he didn't really resurrect you? What if he just made you _think_ he did when you came back on your own?”

“Is that even possible? The time that mob beat me, I returned to the body I already had.”

Kitty tapped her fingers on his sternum. “You said you—your _body_ burned up in the sun's radiation. So...what if the Five still made _this_ body...” she said and tapped again on his chest. “...the same as they do for everyone else, but he didn't have to put your consciousness into it. Because it was _already there_.”

Kurt sat up fully, and Kitty slid off his chest. “Are you okay?” she said.

“ _Ja, ja_ , it's...that makes so much sense. I remember everything up to the moment of my death, and I remember crawling from the egg.”

“The only flaw in my theory,” Kitty continued, “Is that not everyone on the island has been resurrected.”

“As far as we know, that's true. But would he _need_ to persuade every mutant, or only the X-Men? We are the ones who would have argued with him.” Kurt ran a hand through his hair, making some of the curls stand up straight before they settled back down.

“Who else was on the original team with you? In space?” Kitty asked as she made herself more comfortable beside him.

“Logan, Scott, Jean...” he looked at her. “Everyone who would have argued with him, plus Mystique and Monet. Ororo was here, on Krakoa.”

Kitty chewed her lip. “We don't know anything for sure, but it does seem pretty strange. Who went through the resurrection protocols?”

“Everyone from that mission, everyone who went to the Orchis station at least. Before that, I don't know.”

“If it's not resurrection then...it must be something else,” Kitty said. “The gates or...or _something_.”

“Perhaps that is what we need to learn,” Kurt said.

“I think you're right, though. If he's really messing with anyone, it's those who might have opposed him.”

Kurt put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to kiss her head. “I can't imagine doing this without you.”

She ran her hand through the soft coating on his chest. “Well. I'm glad you don't have to. And I'm glad the gate failed for me, too. If it hadn't, I'd have walked through and who knows what I would have done.”

Kurt kissed her briskly and slid out of the bed. While he was in the bathroom, Kitty pulled the sheets down and thought about what she would have done if the gates had worked. Would she still have become the Red Queen, working for Emma Frost and Hellfire Trading? Or would she have built herself a flower house and become domesticated?

She put her head on her knees. Would she have looked for Kurt? So much time had passed where they'd been friends but hadn't interacted much at all, that she'd fallen into the routine of not seeing him. Was that why she was here now? Because he felt new to her? Or because he was still familiar? A pang of hurt welled up behind her breastbone and she pressed her hand to it. She remembered that day at the gate when her nose had broken, seeing Kurt for the first time after months. She'd been looking back at him just before she smashed into the gate, hardly able to take her eyes off him. If her nose hadn't broken, she might have turned around and gone right back through that gate.

He'd been working on Xavier's team, setting up the island and its inner workings for several months. Before that, he'd simply been working on different projects than she had, and their paths hadn't crossed. She missed him in those days, so much so she buried herself in her work and stopped thinking about him until he was standing in front of her again. She wasn't here because he was new or old. She was here because it was where she'd wanted to be for a long time.

Kurt came out of the bathroom at last, and she said, “I would have found you.”

“What?”

“On Krakoa. If the gates had worked, I would have found you.”

He paused at the foot of the bed, and the feeble, yellow glow of the desk lamp lit half of him, casting the other half in shadow. It gave him a beautiful, unearthly appearance. She hadn't properly looked at him yet, but now that she did, he took her breath away.

He shut off the lamp and the room fell into darkness deep enough that he was rendered nothing but a darker shadow among shadows.

“When I was in space, on the mission with Logan and Scott, before I died, I decided that whatever happened, I had to know if there was a chance for us.”

It wasn't circumstance that had brought them here, it was intention. The tightness in her chest eased as he settled over her.

“So,” Kitty said as she drew her knees along his hips. “What's your conclusion?”

“I think there's a chance,” he murmured as his lips covered hers.

  
  


With the morning sunlight came the practicalities of their lives as they stood. Kitty had a meeting in the afternoon with Emma and Shaw, and Kurt...

“What _do_ you do all day?” Kitty asked over breakfast in the hotel dining room.

“Besides snooping and sitting through Council meetings?” He gave her a wry grin. “I have some other jobs on the island. I still teach, but not formally. I greet new arrivals and sometimes help out in the Healing Gardens to keep up my field medic skills. Sometimes I help the other teams.”

“Don't you ever get bored?”

“Yes. Sometimes.”

“Lonely?”

His hesitation was fleeting. “Yes. Sometimes.”

“Me, too.” She leaned in. “If Bobby leaves, would you really want to take his place?”

“You have to ask? Of course I would. But as you mentioned before, I don't know how Council would feel about having three of its members working the rescue and distribution jobs.”

“But the resurrection protocols should make all those arguments moot. The danger is irrelevant now. According to them.”

“If Bobby leaves, ask me. If they don't want me to take the position, I'll drop off Council.”

Kitty sat back in her chair. “You would do that?”

“Yes.”

  
  


Kitty hated to go back, but already Krakoa loomed ever larger in the distance. After some debate about whether or not they should return together, Kitty pointed out that they weren't monitoring the harbor the way they did the gates. Black Tom would know she was coming, but nothing on Krakoa happened in secret, unless the rumors about Moira were true. Regardless, they'd left together, and should return together.

Without knowing what kind of hidden devices had been implanted on her ship during its construction, Kitty didn't dare discuss anything of importance with Kurt, or do more than hold his hand. She let him take the wheel when he admitted that, as much as he loved pirates, he'd never actually steered a ship before. The closer they came to Krakoa, the darker her mood became, and the quieter Kurt was. The island wasn't home, and it wasn't freedom. Kurt had said it wasn't a prison, but in some ways, it felt like one. Even so, they both believed there was potential for improvement, if they could weed out the roots of treachery.

Kurt helped Kitty into her red coat before teleporting to shore, leaving her with only a kiss on the cheek and a whispered promise to see her again soon. She watched the puff of purplish smoke dissipate in the breeze. Soon nothing lingered, and Kurt had disappeared through one of the gates in the sand near the Hellfire Bay harbor. Kitty stopped at Red Keep to fix her hair and steel herself for what she suspected would be an unpleasant hours-long meeting with Shaw and Emma and their respective bishops. She slid a sword through her scabbard and paused to look at herself in the mirror.

He said she was beautiful and it didn't feel like idle flattery. She reached for a bottle of rum, keeping up her image, just in time for Emma's call to come through her mind. Lockheed landed across her shoulders and she scratched his chin as they headed out. The three of them had agreed on an outdoor location on neutral ground between the three promontories that housed Red Keep, Blackstone, and the White Palace. When Kitty arrived, Emma and Lucas Bishop were already waiting. Shaw and his son Shinobi arrived as Kitty did. She cast a glare at Sebastian, and curious glance at Shinobi, then sat with Emma as if neither of them existed.

Shaw wanted Kitty to take over the Madripoor run, as she'd expected.

“It's a milk run,” he said, as if that would make it more desirable to her. “Women's work.”

Arguing with Shaw was pointless, so they called for a vote, which Shaw lost. Christian Frost, Emma's White Bishop, arrived in time to abstain from the vote. They had several other matters to discuss after that, and by the time the meeting finished, Kitty was ready to hide away from all of them.

She spent the evening going over reports and answering emails. The system was plant based, and she didn't have a clue how it worked, but the interface was similar to a tablet computer. She missed the technology she understood, but Krakoa preferred natural, biological technology whenever possible. She and Kurt had been forced to use Krakoan communicators since they'd instituted the daily EMP blast after Xavier's assassination. She didn't like it and she didn't trust the island. Maybe that was why it didn't trust her.

The following afternoon, Emma paid her a visit.

“Shaw is furious,” Emma said, laughing as Kitty poured her a glass of champagne. “Both of them. Shinobi is in Madripoor now, doing his father's milk run.” She laughed again and accepted the glass.

“Good. That's where he belongs.” Kitty took a sip of her own champagne, then drank it all when Emma asked what was bothering her. Had Emma been digging around where she wasn't welcome? Kitty took a moment to reset her psychic shields just in case. She didn't _think_ she'd been thinking about Kurt, but it was true he was always on her mind, at least a little.

She shrugged. “The usual.” She decided to test Emma. “Just that the gates don't work for me so what if the resurrection protocols don't either?”

Emma's response was as useless as no response. “I'm afraid to die, too, Katherine. Which nose would I return with?” Emma hugged her, and Kitty let her, only to keep up the ruse that they were now...friends. The thought sent a shudder through her that she hoped Emma attributed to their conversation.

“Some day I might be the only old woman on the island,” Kitty said with genuine concern, even though Kurt assured her he believed the resurrection protocols would work for her, whether the gates did or not. The gates were all Krakoan, resurrection was mostly mutant-run.

They finished their champagne and left, Emma by the stairs and Kitty by phasing through the floor. Red Keep was one place she could do that, at least. So much of the island was impossible for her to phase through. There was a crowd of newly rescued mutants partying in a reception hall nearby, the Marauders mingling with them. Kurt wasn't present, but even if he had been, she wouldn't have been able to do more than a little passing chit-chat.

She and Bishop talked instead, and Kitty reflected on how pleased she was he'd finally agreed to join the Marauders. Bishop had wanted nothing to do with Hellfire anything—understandably—but she'd convinced him it would be better for him to be on the inside with her. Halfway through the first hour, Pyro ran in with news of a distress call from the _Upstart_ , Shinobi's ship. It felt like a trap to Kitty, but they'd still sail into it, because ultimately, innocent mutants were in danger. And if Shaw was setting that trap, refugees were exactly what he'd use as bait, because he knew Kitty wouldn't abandon innocents.

Madripoor was in chaos, with weapons on the streets and people calling for mutant blood to be spilled. Bishop got a name of the group inciting the violence—Verendi. At the docks, he and Ororo found Shinobi cowering in the _Upstart's_ hold with the refugees. Kitty and Pyro arrived later, and discovered power dampening armor on a second boat, along with Donald Pierce and Chen Zhao. Once she and Storm had tossed both of them overboard, Kitty conferred with her crew. The armor couldn't be allowed to get to shore, but Storm was certain Forge would have some interest in it, since he was its original designer.

Despite Storm's initial objection, Kitty insisted she could sail the commandeered ship to Island M on her own. She wanted the time to herself to think, about Kurt and the gates and what the real problem on Krakoa was. She felt no closer to an answer than she'd been weeks ago when Kurt first approached her to help him spy on Charles Xavier. Frustrated, she stared at the sea ahead of her and hoped for some flash of insight. Instead, her mind kept returning to Kurt, and how much she looked forward to seeing him again.

Unless they wanted to go public about their new relationship and use it as cover, they'd have to be cautious about meeting at hotels for dinner too often. The thought made her smile, and she considered other locations they could meet up, disregarding the concerns about their friends finding out they were together. She didn't really care if they knew or not, but they'd decided together that it was best to keep things quiet, at least for a while.

She was so lost in thought that when Lockheed growled from her shoulder, she didn't turn in time to stop Sebastian Shaw from firing a fireproof net onto him. Shaw stood on the deck threatening Kitty's life while Krakoan vines wrapped around her, growing tighter with every breath she took. Worse than that, he tossed her dragon overboard once he took Kitty's sword. She couldn't phase through the vines, and without her sword she couldn't cut herself free. Krakoa really _did_ hate her, she thought, even as she begged Shaw to save Lockheed. He refused, and she vowed to kill him, screaming her throat raw until the vines dragged her beneath the sea.


	5. Wake Up Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty is resurrected. Kurt isn't sure if she'll still be the same or if she'll now be lost to the mental manipulation. In the same way, Kitty isn't sure about Kurt, until he brings her a stack of letters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains discussion of Kitty's funeral in canon. Some readers may be aware already, but the entire funeral was ignorant of Jewish funeral traditions and many readers were hurt and upset by it. This chapter hopes to address it to a degree, providing an explanation, however small, for why Kurt didn't make a bigger fuss in canon about it. The thought being that if he knew enough about Judaism to recognize that the number 18 (number of times they attempted to resurrect her) was important, he would also have some passing knowledge of funeral traditions as well. 
> 
> No disrespect is intended to any readers of the Jewish faith. As in my notes in the text, if you find anything that should be changed, feel free to leave me a comment and let me know. I am not Jewish, but I did make an effort to do some research, and I hope in doing so I have treated these traditions with the respect they deserve.

Light and sound. She reached for it, through it, pulled by some invisible force she could not understand even as her body moved, lifting her and carrying her into the light. Someone touched her head and throbbing pain blinded her for a moment.

Kitty clutched her head, trying to figure out why it hurt so badly and where she was and _why the hell was she naked_? Kurt was her first thought, then realization hit and her stomach rebelled.

“Oh god,” she whispered, “I died.”

She looked up into Emma Frost's face, glowing as she reached for Kitty. Someone had put a robe around her shoulders, and she thought it must have been Kurt, because he always did that kind of thing. But when she looked, it was the professor. She smiled at him and turned back to Emma, who crushed her in a tight embrace. She wanted Kurt, not Emma, not the professor. Did he know she had died? That she was back?

As the reality of resurrection sank in and Kitty's thoughts moved past wanting Kurt, she realized that if she had died, someone had probably killed her. And the most likely suspect was Sebastian Shaw. Emma was still holding her.

“The last thing I remember was at Red Keep, when you kissed me and we discussed the resurrection protocols.”

“I have that effect,” Emma replied. “Yes, I recall the conversation. I never imagined, at the time, that it would have been so portentous.”

“It was Shaw, wasn't it?”

In her mind, Emma answered. “We have much to discuss, and I would like to keep it in-house.”

“Whatever is broken, we'll fix it,” Kitty said aloud as Lockheed curled around her shoulders. She pulled the dragon into her arms, only half listening to Emma and Charles. She spotted Kurt then, standing across Arbor Magna with the Five. He _was_ here. Her new heart slammed in her chest, as affected by him as ever.

“How long was I gone?” Kitty said to no one in particular, still watching Kurt and the Five talking.

“A long time,” Emma said. “We had some...technical difficulties with the process.”

Kurt seemed to be deep in conversation, so Kitty turned to the others. “What happened?”

There was no answer from either of them, only shared glances that annoyed her. She raised her voice. “What happened to me?”

Kurt ambled over, adjusted the robe on her shoulders and kept going to stand beside Charles. Fear pooled in her belly. Was he working with the professor now? Had Charles discovered the truth and wiped Kurt's mind? The way he stood beside him made her blood run cold enough to make her shiver. How long had she been gone? Still no one answered, and Kitty put a hand to her face, trying to keep the tears of frustration and shock at bay.

“Your husk never broke out of the egg,” Hope said kindly from behind her. The rest of the Five joined them, and finally provided her with some answers. “It took us eighteen attempts to get you back.”

“Yeah, and this one woulda failed, too, except Emma did something and pulled you out,” said Fabio Medina, the mutant who made the eggs.

“Kurt helped me realize what was wrong,” Emma said, “When he said you were _out of phase_ and we would have to _guide you back_.”

“Emma and Kurt convinced me to ask the Five for one final attempt,” Xavier said.

Kitty tried to take it all in, her death—her murder actually—her resurrection, the failures. Kurt's aloofness. It was too much, and she shook all over. Why wouldn't he hold her, just once? She took a few deep breaths and gave them all a smile. She was grateful to be back, and she should tell them so.

“Thank you, all of you—wait. _Final_ attempt? You were going to give up?” She focused on Xavier, hearing the way even her voice shook.

“Only for a little while,” Kurt said, his voice uncharacteristically hard. Kitty thought she saw a flicker of some emotion in his face, but it was gone so quickly she wasn't sure. He didn't move from Xavier's side, either, and it was Emma who finally put her arms around her to steady her.

“Yes. Of course. Only for a while, to give the Five a rest,” Xavier agreed in a way that meant he was lying.

“How long has it been, really? How long was I gone?”

She looked around, none of them wanting to answer her. She settled her gaze on Kurt, knowing he would tell her if she asked him directly. If he was still her Kurt. She said his name, afraid it would sound different because he was different. “Kurt?”

He looked away from her. “Six weeks. Almost seven.”

Kitty reeled. She'd expected a few days, _maybe_.

“Eighteen attempts, darling,” Emma said. “And that was _after_ we found proof. But enough about that. It's all in the past. Let's get you home to Red Keep. You and I have important matters to discuss, such as your welcome back party.”

Emma put her arm around Kitty's shoulders and headed towards the gate, then paused. “Actually, Kurt, if you'd be so kind as to take her? I'll meet you both there.”

His arm went to her elbow, the perfect gentleman, and he smiled his most charming smile. “Ready?”

She nodded, unsure what to say, if anything. Did he hold her elbow too tightly, or was it her imagination? Did his eyes linger on hers? She had so many questions, but Emma was waiting when they arrived, the door of Red Keep standing open. She dismissed Kurt before Kitty could say a thing to him other than thanks. He nodded, kissed her hand and Emma's, and was gone.

“Come inside, Kate,” Emma said, though Kitty was already heading towards her bedroom. Someone had kept the place clean while she was gone for a month and a half. Six weeks of her life gone. Her _entire_ life gone, if not for the resurrection protocols. That they had been about to abandon. She felt sick again, and sicker still when she realized that she'd been resurrected.

She'd been _resurrected_.

One of her theories was that Xavier was using the process to wipe or alter the minds of at least some of the mutant population, to make them more invested in his cause. But she didn't feel that way at all. So perhaps that wasn't how it was being done after all. She wondered what it could be, and how Xavier had altered Kurt's mind, if indeed he had.

All of Kitty's memories were still there, intact and seemingly unaltered. If they were, she couldn't tell. But she remembered being with Kurt in the Marshall Islands, and suspecting Xavier and Moira and Emma and Shaw...the list of suspects was so long. It was all there. Either it really wasn't the resurrection process that he used to tamper with minds, or he simply hadn't seen what she suspected. Or he had, but deemed it non-threatening enough to leave it. She shook her head. She didn't know. She didn't know anything.

She pulled clothes from her drawers and went to the bathroom to shower. She still hated showering on Krakoa, despite Kurt's attempt to reassure her that the island wasn't somehow watching. Emma made herself comfortable in the living room while Kitty cleaned up. God, how she wished Kurt were here instead of Emma Frost. She let the hot Krakoan water wash the egg slime off her, imagining Kurt was there, that the eyes she felt were his. It didn't help much, so she washed up quickly and went out to meet with Emma.

“No business today,” Emma announced handing her a glass of Krakoan wine.

“I _want_ to know what happened,” Kitty insisted. “I want to know what he did.”

“There will be time enough for that, Kate. Let's enjoy the moment for now, shall we?”

“Emma, no time has passed for me. The celebration is all for you. I just want to find out what Shaw did to me and then go kick his ass.”

Emma's face went hard. “And we will deal out his justice soon enough.” She took a sip of the wine and Kitty watched her compose herself. When she set the glass down, her face was calm again. “If you don't wish to celebrate, at least let me bask in this moment of triumph. Shaw thought he could take the Red seat. He thought he could kill you permanently, and we've proven him wrong. You and Lockheed live, and—”

Kitty half rose from her seat. “Lockheed? _What did he do to my dragon_?”

Emma blanched white as her suit. “Lockheed was with you when Shaw attacked. He was...removed from the scene by Shaw.”

Kitty put her head in her hands. Emma wasn't going to tell her anything about her death, so Kitty gave up. “At least tell me what else I've missed.”

They spent the next few hours talking about Hellfire Trading business and proposed new routes and progress on Krakoa. When Emma finally left, Kitty was exhausted. She didn't know if it was from being dead or from keeping Emma's company so long, but she crawled into her bed with Lockheed and waited for sleep.

It wouldn't come, so she got up again and went to the balcony, remembering when she'd stood there with Kurt. Six weeks and more. She'd been gone for so long. When he had died, she had felt hollow inside, like someone had scooped out her insides and thrown them away. It had taken her months just to feel something close enough to normal to call it that. What had Kurt gone through? She knew from experience that he didn't always handle grief in particularly healthy ways—training too hard, taking unnecessary risks. He was here, so he hadn't— _had_ he died again? She didn't know. There was so much she wanted to ask him.

  
  


Morning came at last, and with it, Emma. Kitty was beginning to feel like she could never escape the woman. She was in the living room of Red Keep before nine in the morning, waiting for Kitty.

“You're here early,” Kitty said, letting her irritation show a bit.

“We have much to do today. Here.” Emma extended a hand with a silky red dress draped over it.

“What is this?”

“It's a party dress. Put it on.”

“Do I get a choice?”

Emma smirked. “Trust me, darling. Fashion is my forté.”

“I thought it was Jumbo Carnation's forté,” Kitty quipped as she took the dress to her room.

She hated it. The shoulders were thin strings, the cut was all wrong for her, there were slits up to her underwear.

“I'm supposed to ride a horse in this? What the hell, Emma?”

Emma seemed to like it, though, smiling as she handed Kitty a brush. “Normally I would have someone do your hair—”

“Hell no,” Kitty said.

“But I knew that would be your reaction, so I didn't bother.”

Kitty began pulling on her boots and Emma balked.

“Lord no, those will never do, darling.”

“I'm a little short on shoes right now.” Kitty was growing impatient. She still hadn't spoken to Kurt, and if she had really been dead for a month and a half, he must be...she didn't even know. If Xavier had tampered with him, he was probably fine, but if not, he was probably anxious to see her. She _hoped_ he was anxious to see her. From his behavior yesterday, she couldn't be certain.

“Leave the boots off,” Emma said, “and come with me.”

Kitty followed, wishing she'd taken the time to use the straightener on her hair or at least put it in a ponytail. Emma led her across the rocks to a new building set into the side of the steep cliffs between the White Palace and Red Keep.

“Is that a stable? Since when did we get horses?”

Kitty mounted a white horse, a dangerous task in bare feet, if she wasn't able to phase. One false step by a horse and she'd have a foot full of crushed bones. Emma went on about growing up rich in Boston and raising horses on the island, but Kitty had had enough.

“Let's get this over with, Emma.”

She reined in her horse and Emma slowed. She kept smiling, as if it would convince Kitty to keep following her. Kitty pressed her lips together and didn't move.

“Mustn't keep your friends waiting,” Emma said, but Kitty could tell she was wearing her down.

“I'm not going to any parties until I know what happened to me.”

“Very well. I got it all from Lockheed.” Emma sent the images to Kitty's brain, and as they played out, like a bad movie, her initial shock quickly turned to real anger. Balancing her dueling emotions and her new identity as Kate was more difficult than it had been yet. She wanted to cry over Lockheed, to demand justice for Shaw. But Kate would be ruthless. She would strike back without mercy. Kitty wanted to cry over that, too.

“This is how we deal with him,” Kitty said, and let Emma see what she imagined.

At first Emma was horrified, then almost immediately agreed.

“Now. We can go to the party,” Kitty said.

  
  


Large doors opened onto a room full of her friends. Logan was first to greet her in his usual gruff manner. Rachel, in a doorway farther inside, encouraged Kitty to make a speech to the waiting crowd. Kitty didn't know what to say. Laughter at her back saved her from looking like an idiot and made all her nerves fire at once. She whirled to see Kurt's arms extended to hug her. For the moment, she let herself believe he was still himself, that he might still care for her, and she hugged him back hard, her cheek pressing into the fur of his face that, in her memory, had only days earlier brushed other, more intimate places on her body. Holding onto him made it difficult to breathe, and she felt the ache in her fingers as she gripped the back of his uniform so tightly. He apologized for being so busy, then eased her away, thumbs rubbing over her upper arms.

“I've been pondering what this all means for mutantdom, Krakoa, the Five. We have much to discuss,” he said.

Sadness overwhelmed her for a moment, that he was only here as a friend. She was more and more convinced Xavier had gotten to him. He gave no sign of anything other than happiness at her return, but it was that and nothing more. She sensed nothing more from him, no urgency. He didn't cry or kiss her or wrap his tail around her knee. He simply hugged her again, then took her hands in his. For the briefest of moments, she dared hope she was wrong, that he was about to say something romantic right there in front of all their friends, but instead he placed her Star of David necklace in her hands.

“Your friends nearly gave this to the sea,” he said, “But I suggested the fish might have less use for it than you, upon your return.”

“Thanks, Kurt,” she said, not understanding what he meant about giving the necklace to the sea. She was too distraught, distracted, and shocked to do more than thank him. Maybe later he would tell her more. Or someone else would explain it to her.

More of her friends arrived, and the Krakoan wine flowed freely. Kurt disappeared into the crowd, and Rachel, too, vanished. Already her friends were deserting her. Now that she was back, the excitement was over and she was simply one more resurrected mutant on an island of resurrected mutants. She spotted Emma working her way through the crowd and grabbed Illyana's arm.

“Get me out of here,” Kitty hissed.

“Where to?”

“The _Marauder_ , then food.”

It felt good to hang out with Illyana for a while, but Kitty had appearances to keep up, and a nearby tattoo shop was still open. _Kill Shaw_ seemed like something Kate would want on her fingers, and Kitty was feeling particularly melancholy. The woman was pretty and Kitty overpaid her, like she had the last guy, and kissed her, like she had the last guy. Whatever was going on with Kurt, she figured things were pretty well over. He hadn't done more than smile vaguely in her direction, besides hugging her at the party.

She followed the woman's directions back to the harbor, her eyes stinging with the pain of finally understanding what had happened. Shaw had drowned her— _murdered_ her—and tried to kill Lockheed, too. Somehow, while they failed again and again to resurrect her, Xavier must have discovered the truth about Kurt and done something to him. The only reason to let her keep those memories was punishment. A message not to try again.

She finally broke down on the dock, tears falling into the water to mix with the salty ocean. She hadn't slept the night before, though she'd stayed in bed most of the night petting Lockheed. Part of her had hoped Kurt might come to her, but he hadn't. It was Emma whose presence had filled Kitty's first day back in the land of the living. She hated that, but it didn't hurt the way Kurt's absence did.

She thought how typical it was of him, to downplay her return. Years ago, he'd done the same when Excalibur had been separated during their cross dimensional travels with Widget. When she'd come back from space after months in a massive metal bullet, he hadn't even visited her, and then he'd gotten himself killed. Kitty crossed the dock to the _Marauder_ and phased into the wheelhouse. She sank into the Captain's chair and let her weariness fill her. What was she going to do now? She couldn't undermine Xavier alone, with subterfuge and games, pretending she knew what she was doing. In the months of spying they'd done before she died, how many answers had they found, and how many more questions? It felt pointless, and without Kurt, she didn't know if she wanted to keep digging or just try to save refugees. He didn't seem to be tampering with them, at least. A little voice in her head said, _not yet_.

Movement on the deck made her look up, ready to kill Shaw if it was him. It wasn't Shaw. It was Kurt, come through the _Marauder's_ gate. Her hand flew to her mouth as her heart pounded, and she forced herself to remember he was different now. He didn't see her in her place at the top of the ship, and she watched him look around, then start walking, clutching a roll of papers in one hand. He'd changed out of his uniform into a dark shirt and pants and she realized he'd dropped a small bag on the deck. Her belly fluttered in nervous hope.

She phased out of the wheelhouse and floated down to the deck, landing in front of him. She stuffed her hands in her coat pockets.

“Hey,” she said, then had to clear her throat and repeat herself. It was tight and she sounded hoarse.

He stared at her, clutching the papers tighter. “Kätzchen,” he said, his voice as rasping as hers. “I brought you these.” He held the roll of papers out.

“Oh, yeah?” She took them, but didn't unroll them. She needed to know for sure if he was really Kurt or if he was broken Kurt. “What are they?”

“Letters. From while you were gone.” He fidgeted in his bare feet, crossed his arms and re-crossed them. His tail flicked back and forth behind him.

Kitty glanced at the fistful of papers. “Wow. That many people missed me, huh?”

“Those are just mine.”

Her eyes were blurry again and she wiped at them, pressing hard as if to force the tears back in. “Guess my nose is back to normal now,” she said, forcing a laugh that didn't even convince her.

“Kätzchen.”

She wouldn't look at him, so she unrolled the papers, skimming the first one because she still couldn't see clearly. _Love, Kurt,_ it said at the bottom. She flipped through the stack. They were all signed that way. _Much love, Kurt. Much love always, Kurt_.

“I wrote to you every day,” he said. “About everything.”

She had to be sure, even as her mind screamed that this _was_ Kurt, and he was not different after all. “Do you—do you remember when we had dinner?”

“On Majuro? Yes. And breakfast was not cold cereal.”

Her face felt numb and she wiped at the hair falling into her face. She realized then what he'd said to her at the party, about her necklace and fish having no use for it. He'd tried to let her know, and she hadn't understood.

“Oh god, Kurt.” She stepped forward and he met her, catching her in his arms, holding her so tight she thought he'd break her. He couldn't stop saying her name, and even though they were standing on the deck of the _Marauder_ , she didn't care. He remembered. He was all right.

She swallowed hard. “I—I didn't find any fish.”

He was kissing her head, his tail wrapped around her leg as she pressed her face into his neck.

“Kätzchen, I didn't know if you...”

“Neither did I. You're a damn good actor.” She laughed and clutched his neck.

“I thought you might have missed my comment at the party. You looked rather overwhelmed,” he said.

“Yeah.”

“It doesn't matter. Kätzchen,” he breathed, “I thought the worst. I tried to be hopeful but I couldn't help but worry.”

Kitty finally let go of his neck and gestured at the bag he'd dropped on the deck. “You coming aboard for a while?”

“I was thinking about shore leave, actually,” he said. “For you.”

“Well, I _was_ gonna start working on my revenge scheme, but I guess it can wait.”

“I am definitely going to ask you about that later,” he said. “For now, shall we go ashore?”

“God, yes.” She lifted her face and looked over his shoulder at the high rise buildings lighting up as darkness fell. “I see a hotel.”

“I haven't researched...”

“I'll handle it.” She wiped her eyes again, a real smile on her face at last. “Actually, let me get some things, too.”

“Tell me you still have that dress.”

She made a face. “That awful red one?”

“I liked it,” he said.

“Emma picked it.”

“Never mind.”

She eyed his outfit, pointing with one finger up and down. “I like _this_.”

He glanced at himself, as if he'd forgotten what he was wearing, teeth showing in the midnight blue of his face. He looked so good, she wanted to cry again from relief and the sheer joy of seeing him. “ _Ja_?”

She bit her lip. “ _Ja_. Wait here, I'll be right back.”

“I'm not allowed in your cabin?”

His crooked smirk told her he was only teasing.

“I don't think I could keep my hands to myself, and I don't want to do that here.”

“And this information is supposed to _encourage_ me to wait on deck?”

She laughed, happiness overflowing in her heart knowing he was unchanged. “I'll be really fast.”

  
  


They teleported to the hotel Kitty had spotted in the distance, and Kurt waited in the shadows outside until she had checked into a room. With her phone lost at sea, she had to wave to him from the window so he could find the room to teleport into. Once there, with drapes closed, his joyfulness seemed to disappear.

“Kätzchen, I started to think you would not come back to me.” He sank onto the bed, weariness visible on his face once she saw him in the proper light of the room.

“I thought Xavier had gotten to you somehow,” she said. “You were acting so...distant. I was so scared.”

“Emma Frost behaves as if you are her personal property,” he said. “As if no one else could possibly have feelings about you of any kind. I thought it best to stay out of her way until we could be alone.”

“We're alone now.”

He took her face in his hand and kissed her, his usual tenderness soon turning hot and needy. His hands slid over her, exploring her new, and yet familiar body. He paused at her fingers and raised a questioning brow at the tattoos.

“It seemed like something Kate would do.”

“It was Shaw?”

He didn't know. No one had told him.

“Yeah.” She swallowed. “He tried to kill Lockheed, too. He threw him overboard in a net.”

“I only knew you had been lost at sea.”

“He used vines from the island. I couldn't phase through. I think Krakoa really hates me.”

“No, no more than it hates any of us,” Kurt soothed.

“Thank god Shaw didn't use the vines on Lockheed. I don't think he can be brought back.”

“No, I do not think so. But he survived, _danke Gott_ ,” Kurt said, and kissed her fingers. “Does Shaw know you're aware of what he did? I saw you embrace him at the party.”

“He has no idea, and I plan to keep it that way for a while. Emma and I are working something out.”

“What will you do if Shaw sees this?”

“I was planning to wear gloves to Council meetings for a while.”

“And after you've killed him?” He didn't seem disturbed by the idea, which was a little odd, unless he didn't believe she was serious.

Kitty pulled his arms around her waist. “I'm not going to kill him. I only want him to _think_ I am.”

“I admit, I'm glad to hear that.” He laid his head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her shoulders with a heavy sigh. “Kätzchen, Kätzchen, I was so afraid you would not come back.”

She stroked his shoulders and down his back, scratching gently. “You really wrote all those letters?”

“Every day. I thought I had lost you, when I had finally found you. I did not know what to do.”

She stroked his head. “I'm so sorry, Kurt.”

“It's not your fault.”

“It sort of _is_. I wouldn't let Bobby or Storm sail back with me. I was so stubborn and sure I didn't need a babysitter.”

He picked up his head and looked her in the eyes. “You don't need a babysitter. And you are not to blame for what that man did.”

He kissed her again, and she tasted the salt of tears that could have been either of theirs. Gradually the world fell away until there was nothing but the two of them, offering warm reassurance that the worst was over. For a little while she only thought about the way they fit together, the taste of him, and how good he made her feel.

Kitty stretched pleasantly. Kurt's fur was soft against her cheek, and she could hear his heart beating in his chest. His hand was still curled in her hair, occasionally stirring to stroke the soft waves. She was so comfortable and content she couldn't imagine moving.

Kurt's stomach rumbled under Kitty's ear, and she opened one eye. “Did you not eat dinner?”

“I did, but it's almost midnight.”

“Is that why I'm so tired?”

“Somehow I don't think that's the _only_ reason.”

She kissed him and dragged herself up to lie in his arms. “I couldn't sleep last night,” she said and yawned. “I kept wondering and hoping...”

“That I would come to you?”

“How'd you guess?” She was too tired to lift her head to gawk at him.

“I spent most of the night talking myself into and out of doing exactly that.”

She pressed herself more fully into the shape of him and yawned again. Kurt reached up and turned off the lamp beside the bed, and Kitty fell asleep almost immediately.

  
  


“So tell me about my necklace,” Kitty asked the next morning. They had ordered breakfast in the room and sat at the little round table eating. “You said they were gonna throw it in the sea or something?”

Kurt reached across the plastic tabletop and covered her hand. “I am sorry for what I must tell you. I'm not deeply familiar with Jewish traditions surrounding death and burial, but I've known you long enough to know this. And for what happened, I am so very sorry.”

“Kurt? What the hell did they do?”

“Do you have my letters?”

“Yeah, they're in my coat pocket. Why?”

“There's a brief explanation there, but essentially, the professor and Krakoa will not permit cemeteries on the island. The Five had failed so many times to bring you back...” He let out a tight breath. “After the last failure, the professor decided that since you're a ship captain, the proper thing to do was to give you a burial at sea.”

“A burial at sea? They...He dumped my body in the sea?”

“No. It's...you...the body was cremated1.”

“I wonder if it's too late to change my tattoo.”

“A number of us argued against it, myself and Bobby included, but the professor was adamant. We're supposed to respect _Krakoa_ , and Krakoa said no.”

She said nothing for a while, grieving lost time, lost traditions, lost faith. There was nothing she could do about it and taking out her anger on Kurt wouldn't change what had happened.

“Thank you for saving the necklace.”

“I'm sorry I could not do more. I tried, Kätzchen, I promise you that. I even went to Erik, but he sided with Xavier.”

“It's all right, Kurt.” She smiled weakly. “It's not your fault.”

“Your mother,” he began.

Kitty lifted her head, eyes wide. “Oh god...”

“She doesn't know anything. I asked Xavier to wait until we had exhausted all options before telling your mother. In case we were able to bring you back. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, but it seemed the kindest option, to spare her the grief of losing her daughter.”

“It's...it's fine. After everything else...it's fine.”

She got up from the table, paced, and finally lay down on the bed. She listened to him at the table, collecting the dishes and stacking them on the tray, the soft sound of his feet on the thick hotel carpet and the door chunking shut when he set the tray in the hall. Her mother should have been told immediately. Her body should have been given to her mother to grieve and bury. It was all wrong, another symptom of the deep troubles on the island and within their new nation. Would she be expected to forget who she was, abandon her heritage and her ancestors, take up an entirely new identity—Kate—to be welcomed into the mutant nation? She couldn't. She wouldn't do it. She was Kitty Pryde, and she was Jewish and a mutant. She'd never shied away from those facts.

Kitty rolled over and sat up. Kurt knew who she was. He was sitting at the table again, staring out the window, probably feeling guilty for not doing more. His tail was too still, barely stirring against the legs of the chair.

“Kurt?”

He turned but didn't get up.

“I appreciate what you did. And what you tried to do right.”

He lowered his head, shaking it slowly. “I'm sorry, I should have—”

“I don't expect you to know all of our traditions, but it matters that you _tried_.”

“I'm sorry I didn't try harder.”

She waved him over, and he sprang up, at her side in a heartbeat.

“What happened isn't okay, but right now, there's nothing I can do about it. But I won't forget, and you won't forget. We're going to keep looking for answers, and when we find them, we'll set things right. No one should have to give up who they are to come to Krakoa.”

“I pray you will never give in to Krakoa's demands, or the professor's,” he said.

“I'll try,” she said. “What else do we need to talk about?”

“There is plenty to discuss. Shall we dig into the resurrection protocols and why you still retain all your memories?” He tapped her head for emphasis.

“Weird, right? That must not be how he's doing it. It must be the gates, but you use them and you seem fine.”

“Except for a few instances here and there.”

“I can't think of anything else that affects everyone on that island, except the gates, and eventually the resurrection protocols.”

“Do you speak Krakoan?”

“Yes. Emma had to download it for me.”

“Ah. I wondered.”

“Yeah, since I can't pass through the gates, I can't have all that other stuff downloaded either.”

“Hm.” Kurt rubbed his chin.

“What?”

“Nothing. Whatever the gates may or may not have to do with Xavier's manipulations, they don't seem to affect me. Perhaps there is something about me that is inherently different? You mentioned he doesn't truly resurrect me, either?”

“Well that's my _theory_ anyway. I don't now how that would affect you using the gates, though.”

“All we know is that he did not wipe your memories during resurrection, I am not being mind-controlled by the gates, yet he is still managing to manipulate and coerce and suggest courses of action to almost all of us. I suppose that could be simple telepathy.”

“Yeah,” Kitty said. “But that's a lot of people to keep under his control twenty-four-seven. I wish we knew more.”

“In time, I hope we will.” Kurt ran his finger up and down her neck, and she closed her eyes. He'd put her to sleep if he wasn't careful. Or wake her up. She pressed him back onto the bed and stretched leisurely against his side.

“You mentioned making revenge plans,” Kurt said a few minutes later, just when she was getting warm and cozy.

“Yeah. Your standard humiliation, put him in his place, make sure he doesn't do it again scheme.”

“I hear he has quite a collection of vintage liquors.”

“I think it'll be a little smaller when I'm done.”

“Bring me one,” Kurt said, tipping his head to kiss her forehead.

She nodded. In spite of the morning's news, she was still mostly happy, and she could almost pretend she didn't have to return to that island. She could lie here on a hotel bed with Kurt as long as she wanted, letting him turn her mind to mush and her body to fireworks.

Kitty's hand drifted down his side to rest at his hip. “I don't want to talk about this anymore right now.”

  
  


Kitty didn't wake to an alarm just after noon, but to Emma's voice in her head, demanding to know where she was. She'd been sleeping soundly, still catching up after being awake for two days after coming back to life. She and Kurt hadn't gotten much sleep last night, either.

“Don't scare me like that, Kate,” she said when Kitty answered.

“You don't have to watch out for me, Emma,” Kitty replied. Kurt was still dozing beside her, one fuzzy arm lying across her stomach.

“Where are you?”

“Out.”

“When are you returning?”

“Soon enough. I'm busy, Emma,”

Emma was silent a while, then said, “Be careful, Kate. You are _vital_ to what Hellfire Trading is doing. Your loss the past weeks was _devastating_.”

“Thanks but I can come back like the rest of you, so you can stop worrying so much. I'm _fine_. I'm safe.”

She hadn't realized she said the last part aloud until Kurt's arm pulled her closer. Kitty felt Emma leave, and rolled towards Kurt, burrowing under the covers.

“Emma?” he said.

“Yeah. Nosy.”

“I didn't mean—”

“Not you, _her_. Asking where I am and when I'm going back. Kurt, I'm sick of her.”

“Quit.”

“I would, but I have to stay, if only to watch them. Even if we never figure it all out.”

“You won't be alone.”

“Thank God for that.”

Kitty sat up and Kurt rolled over. She put her hand on his chest. “I need a shower. Wanna join me?”

  
  


The _Marauder_ pulled out of port slowly, easing into the wider expanse of water beyond, Kitty holding her back until they reached the open ocean. Kurt was about to return to Krakoa through the ship's gate, but for the moment, he stood beside her. He looked wistful, and she was sorry for the millionth time that she hadn't asked him to be on her crew. But she remembered Shaw, and what he had done to her, and the thought of him doing the same to Kurt, resurrection protocols or not, made her sick and angry.

“What are you going to tell them if they ask?” Kitty said.

Kurt shrugged. “The truth. I was catching up with one of my dearest friends, who was dead for almost two months.”

“How long was it, really?”

“Forty-seven days from the time we confirmed your death. Likely at least a day or two longer.”

Kitty grabbed his hand. “I'm sorry you went through that.”

He put an arm around her shoulder. “It is in the past. You're home now.”

1As many readers noted when this issue of Marauders was released, cremation is not generally accepted in the Jewish faith. Kate's cremation at sea was disrespectful and willfully ignored the traditions of her Jewish faith. Not only that, but according to my (limited) research, the body should be buried asap and no more than two days after death, and flowers are not to be brought to the burial; burials are simple. So many things wrong with Kate's burial in canon. Here, I'm choosing to exonerate Kurt, who would have known this if he also knew that eighteen is a lucky number in Judaism. My explanation is that Xavier has everyone so controlled, he was even able to persuade Erik (Magneto, another Jewish mutant) to accept the cremation at sea in order to preserve his selfish desire to build no cemeteries on Krakoa. Erik is not acting under his own free will. Otherwise, I don't know how to reconcile this incredibly disrespectful storyline. If he wasn't being controlled, wouldn't Erik have stopped it? Wouldn't Bobby have had something to say about it? Even Kurt, who's known Kitty since she was 14, should have had enough knowledge to voice an objection; even if the comic's intent is to show how wrong things are on the island, this is particularly cold. I hope I haven't made it worse. If any Jewish readers find exception here, please let me know and I will change it. My intent is not to make anything worse. I've written what Kitty says from my own perspective, imagining if someone disrespected my beliefs and a friend tried to make it right, but failed.


	6. The Dark of the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Kitty deal with the events of the tournament on Otherworld. Kitty, Emma, and Ororo deal out Sebastian Shaw's punishment for murdering Kitty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in and around the X of Swords arc in canon, beginning with events from X of Swords: Creation.

Kitty didn't get up right away when the Council meeting was adjourned. Apocalypse was leaving, gathering a volunteer team to venture through his External gate to save Unus and see what lay on the other side. Ancient mutants wanted to reunite Krakoa with its other half, and in the process probably kill all of them. Kitty had missed a lot while she was dead.

Emma kept her seat as well, trailing Kitty like she might run off again without Mommy's permission. Kurt and Ororo came over to talk.

“Kitten?” Ororo said. “You look troubled.”

“Should I _not_ be?” Kitty said.

“We all are,” Kurt said. “But I fear there is nothing we can do at this time. We must wait for Apocalypse's return, and his team's report. Krakoa will not allow the External gate to be closed.”

“Our hands are tied,” Ororo said.

It seemed to Kitty that Krakoa had an agenda of its own after all. The island didn't seem too concerned about the fates of its inhabitants. Maybe she and Kurt should have been watching the island instead of Charles and Emma. She glanced from Ororo to Kurt not daring to look Krakoa in its enigmatic eyes, across the Council space.

“How do we prepare?” she said with an exasperated sigh.

“We continue the work we began,” Emma said with her usual authority. “The _Marauder_ will sail for refugees as scheduled.”

Kitty tilted her head incredulously. “You want me to bring _more_ mutants to the island? When the ones already here are in danger?”

“I don't believe Krakoa will fall,” Emma replied. “And if we are attacked, it would be beneficial to have as many mutants here to fight back as possible.”

Ororo agreed. “Krakoa will not fall without a fight.”

Only Kurt was silent.

  
  


During the weeks that followed, while her friends sought out swords and prepared for a battle to the literal death on Otherworld, Kitty redoubled her efforts to learn more about the island, the professor, and the rest of Council. Between short trips to rescue groups of refugees and deliver medicine, Kitty tried to come up with a plan where they didn't all die if Apocalypse failed. Bringing refugees home didn't have the same joy it had originally. Kitty's heart wasn't in it, anymore. She feared she was only sending them to their deaths.

The Council kept busy with meetings almost daily. Kitty attended, sat beside Emma Frost, and wished it was Kurt at her side. Being at the Hellfire table had never felt like such an anchor, pulling her under just like Krakoa's vines had when she died. Kurt rarely glanced her way unless she spoke, occasionally greeted her afterwards. More often, she would “accidentally” run into him at the Tiki Bar or on the beach. She wanted to get away, but leaving for pleasure felt like a betrayal. Kurt must have felt the same, because he never brought it up, either. Instead, they talked about the tournament, the refugees, Kitty's fears about bringing them to the island. He tried to reassure her, but she could hear his own uncertainty. If they failed on Otherworld, Krakoa would be lost. She calculated how many she could take off the island on the _Marauder_ , and it wasn't nearly enough. And part of her didn't want to give it up. She wanted to find a way to make the island work—to find and address its faults and drawbacks, and set up a real nation instead of the farce they were living in.

As the tournament raged on Otherworld, and bits and pieces of reports came in, most of it censored by Saturnyne. Kitty, Kurt, and the others left behind on Council were unable to assist without giving up their Council seats, thanks to a proposal by Shaw. When Scott and Jean came to plead for assistance recovering their son Cable from Otherworld, she and Kurt were first to volunteer, only to be refused. She didn't know until much later that Scott had lied about using a gate.

Kitty watched Jean and Scott leave the Council meeting, and her throat was so tight she could only clench her fist. Jean gave up her seat on Council to help, all because of Shaw's pompous arrogance. Their people were being defeated on Otherworld, possibly killed, and she had to sit here and listen to Sebastian Shaw act like he was in charge of everything. Kitty wasn't a fool—she knew what he was playing at. He was still after another seat on Council. He wanted control, and he didn't care who he hurt to get it.

When the meeting ended, Kurt didn't leave immediately, as he usually did. He was the last remaining member at his table, with Storm in the tournament and Jean abdicating her seat. He looked weary beyond simple sleepiness, and Kitty couldn't fight the need to touch him. She walked through the table, ignoring Emma's look of curiosity and the questions in Kurt's eyes as she approached him.

She put her arms around him and sat in his lap to hold him.

“ _Meine Freundin_ ,” he said softly as he embraced her. “I am sorry we could not fight at Scott's side, and Jean's.”

“Are you okay?” she whispered in his ear.

“For now. If they lose this tournament, none of us will be, I fear.”

“Come on. Let's go somewhere.”

“I don't dare leave Krakoa...”

“I didn't mean that. Let's just go somewhere quiet and sit. You and me. Like old times.”

He nodded.

“Kate?” Emma said. “I thought we had a trade meeting.”

Kitty stood up, scowling at Emma and Shaw. “Cancel it. Or hold it without me. Our friends need us, and because of _him_ ,” she waved her hand at Shaw's smug face, “we can't help. So have the damn meeting without me.”

She held Kurt's hand and dared Emma to cross her. Emma must have seen the implied threat, because she backed off. Shaw sat without a word, his fingers steepled under his chin. Kitty paused at the Hellfire table on her way out of Arbor Magna.

“Don't get too cocky, Shaw. Madripoor is still yours.”

  
  


“Do you think this is wise?” Kurt said as they walked through the Krakoan foliage. He still held her hand.

“What? You look like you're about to drop. And I feel like it. You were my best friend for years, Kurt. You still are, even if they don't realize it.” She squeezed his hand. “I'm just gonna sit there and watch you fall apart?”

“How are you handling this so well?”

“I've been leaning on you,” she said. “And Emma bugs the hell out of me. Gives me something else to think about.”

“I hope she wasn't listening,” he said with a laugh.

“I hope she _was_. She follows me around, Kurt. It's like...she's so afraid to lose me, but it's not _me_ she's afraid of losing, it's the Council seat. Same as Shaw. That's all he's after.”

“I'm glad you have a distraction.” Kurt shifted his hand to her shoulder, pulling her into his side to walk awkwardly down the path.

Kitty put her arms around his waist. “Where to? You know the island better than I do.”

“I don't think I can truly relax anywhere, Kätzchen, not until this is over.”

“Isn't there anywhere on this island we can go to just...think and talk in relative privacy?”

He paused on the path. “Have I ever shown you my tower?”

“Your tower? No.”

“It's not actually mine, it's...I call it that in my head because I am, apparently, the only one on the island who has ever been inside it.”

“Seriously? You have a tower?”

“Apparently built by Krakoa.”

“That's...weird. Krakoa built a _tower_ for you? Why? That doesn't even make sense.”

“I do not know. But it's beautiful. I will show it to you.”

“Can we walk there?”

“Yes. It is not too far, but requires a bit of a climb.”

She smiled up at him, still clinging to his hand. “I don't mind.”

He laughed, a sound she welcomed. “You just don't want to teleport.”

“Exactly.”

  
  


“There it is.” Kurt pointed out across the landscape to a double tower, rising above the trees.

They had reached a small ledge at the top of a cliff, overlooking parts of Krakoa both inhabited and not. The tower rose far above the trees, gleaming iridescent in the sunlight. Kitty stared, awestruck and mesmerized by its beauty.

“And Krakoa made that?”

“We cannot find any other source, so...yes. As far as we know. Wolverine tried to get inside once, by clawing through it, but it heals.”

Kitty turned to Kurt and crossed her arms. “You blind teleported.” It was not a question.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I did.”

“You know better,” she said, nudging him with her elbow.

“Death has lost its meaning, I'm afraid. No one truly fears it any longer.”

Kitty sat down in the soft grass and leaned back. Kurt crouched beside her, ready to spring up at a moment's notice.

“When this tournament is over, if we manage to pull off a last minute victory, I want to go fishing.”

He sat down then, feet tucked in close and his arms around his knees. “That sounds like a fine plan.”

Kitty caught his tail mid-curl and stroked it gently, familiarly, a reassuring touch. He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes sad even when he smiled at her. “And if we lose?”

“Then we'll go fishing right here in the middle of everything because it won't matter.”

He patted her hand and she sat up, scooting close behind him, fussing at the shoulders of his uniform. “You wear this even more than you did when we were X-Men.”

“It's clean,” he replied defensively.

She chuckled softly. “I didn't mean that. I meant...you're holding onto the past.”

“Is that so?”

“I worry about you sometimes. You never talk about the things that bother you, not even to me. That worry has to go somewhere.” She dug her thumbs into his back, pressing on tight muscles. “See?”

“I'm all right.”

“No one's all right right now, Kurt. We're all terrified. We built this... _nation_ , and now we might fall to some ancient mutants who are more powerful than us, because of Saturnyne's twisted whims?”

“She is not the only reason.”

“She's in charge of the tournament.”

“Cereal.”

“What?”

“I couldn't think of a sentence.”

“Okay,” she said, and ran her hand down his spine. “Fish.”

“When this is over...”

“If we win.”

“Yes. If we win, we will go fishing.”

He looked like he wanted to kiss her, so she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, telling herself old friends might do that, knowing it would make a poor excuse to someone like Emma. Kurt kissed her back, but not for long.

“I am afraid, Kätzchen.” Kitty moved closer and hooked her arms around his waist.

“So am I.”

  
  


Betsy was missing and presumed dead. Gorgon was dead. Rockslide, dead. Apocalypse had sacrificed himself for mutantkind, and though not dead, he was lost to them. In exchange, the mutants of Arrako would return to the world and the two islands would reunite. Jean was off Council as well, leaving two seats available. Soon, Kitty and Emma would have to deal with Sebastian Shaw's treachery. For now, she was with Kurt.

“We should keep a list of hotels we've been to,” she said.

“Why?” He was lounging on the pillows, not watching the movie they'd rented, because she was distracting him with her questions, and her wandering hands.

“For fun. Maybe we can visit one in every country.”

“Hmm.” He ran his hand through her hair. “I think we may be busier in the coming days and weeks.”

“Because of Arrako?”

“Yes, and because whenever we think we might have free time, we get interrupted.”

“Then we better use our time wisely,” she said with a grin as she stopped the movie. “You weren't watching that, were you?”

“No.” He slipped his arm around her waist. “Not at all.”

  
  


When the world slid back into focus, Kitty sat up and stretched. “I think we had a few things to discuss. Business.”

“We did. Saturnyne is on the list, but so is Krakoa.” Kurt twisted around and sat facing her, tugging her closer.

“Saturnyne has changed since Excalibur, but somehow I don't think that's Xavier's doing.”

“I wondered about her as well.”

“And where the hell was Roma?” Kitty shook her head. “Something happened on Otherworld since we were there. Do you think Saturnyne took advantage? Or could she be Sat-Yr-9?”

“I had not thought of that. But I don't think so, not from what Brian has said.”

“Brian was fooled by her before. We all were.” Kitty reached for her water. “But whoever she is, I don't know that there's much we can do about Otherworld problems.”

“No, that's more Brian's territory.”

“I think we need to talk about the bigger issue at hand, for us. All of us.”

“Krakoa.” Kurt met her eyes.

If the island was their enemy, they were in more trouble than they thought. Doug was the only one who could understand Krakoa, but Doug seemed as manipulated as anyone else. And now he was married and apparently spending a lot of time with his wife.

“Yeah,” Kitty said. “Krakoa insisted the gate remain open. Krakoa was willing to sacrifice all of us to get Arakko back. And if the entire _island_ is our enemy, then what do we do? Everyone lives there now.”

Kurt rubbed the back of his neck. “I am at a loss as much as you are.”

“Do you think we can make peace somehow?” Kitty put her hands on his shoulders and started rubbing. “I mean, so far it's not like Krakoa's eating us.”

“Not in the sense you mean, no.”

“Feeding on our energy, I know. I thought Xavier had that worked out?”

“I did as well. Logan said it's been making predators. Hank was attacked.”

“Do you think the island isn't safe?”

“It would seem it is becoming less so.”

“Kurt, there are _children_ there. They play in the jungle.” She realized she was gripping his shoulder hard and let go. He kissed the back of her hand.

“Logan has warned their families. My greater fear is that eventually Krakoa's appetite will only continue to grow, until even that will not be enough for Krakoa.”

Kitty shivered, not from cold. Kurt put his arms around her and pulled her closer.

“We have to figure out what to do,” she said.

“For now, we are going to enjoy our time together as much as possible, and quietly prepare ourselves for another battle.”

Kitty tensed. “Speaking of battles...I should tell you this.”

Kurt's arm slipped a fraction down her shoulder. “Shaw.”

“Yeah. Emma and I...we aren't going to let him get away with what he did.”

“You said as much.” He sounded tired. “Will you bring him before Council?”

“Emma wants to keep it _in_ _house_ as she says. I'm going along with it because I want to know why she's eager to keep him in play, when she was so against bringing him on board in the first place. So, we've decided to give him a choice. Either we take it to Council, hope they convict and punish him appropriately, or we handle it our way.”

“ _Hope_ Council convicts?”

“Well, there's no law about killing another mutant, and I'm alive now, so it's not so far fetched to think they might exonerate him instead.”

“You doubt me?”

“Of course not. Not you or even Storm. Or if Jean was still there. But there are too many others I don't trust, Charles included.”

“What then?”

“Emma's got a power dampener left over from the troops he used against us. And I'm still going after his prized liquor collection. And I'll still bring you a nice bottle of something if you want.”

He chuckled. “I wouldn't turn down a nice German ale,” He kissed her forehead.

“Somehow I don't think that's what he's got, but I'll look.”

“That cannot be everything Emma has planned for him,” Kurt said.

“Lockheed wants to fry him, but I think I've convinced him not to. I'll kick him around a little. Put the fear of Kate Pryde in him. We're also taking his shipping routes away from him. Other than that...I honestly don't know what Emma's planning.”

“Be careful. Even de-powered he can be dangerous.”

“You're not going to try and talk me out of it?”

“No. I trust you to make the right choices.”

  
  


Kitty thought of his words as she sat astride the same white horse she'd ridden into her Welcome Back from the Dead party. Emma rode beside her on her own horse, both approaching Blackstone silently, telepathically shielded so their visit would be a real surprise. Kitty's stomach churned with nervousness and the anticipation of paying Shaw back for trying to kill Lockheed.

The heavy door echoed inside Shaw's foyer when they knocked, and Emma gave Kitty the telepathic signal when he was close enough for her fist to phase through and punch his face, making sure he had a chance to read the tattoos on her knuckles. _Kill Shaw_. When Kitty phased Emma through the door, Sebastian was hunched over, wiping blood off his chin with his wrist, like a messy toddler after a meal. He pulled himself upright and grinned viciously.

“Do you not recall my mutant gift?” he growled, reminding them of his ability to absorb and redirect kinetic energy.

They didn't need his reminder. Emma shot him with the power dampener before he could react, and Kitty kneed him in the groin.

“Master _that_ kinetic energy,” she said as she and Emma strolled through him into his parlor.

Kitty chose bottles at random and smashed them, growing more confident as she did. It felt so _good_ to make him beg. She warmed to the task, enjoying the way Shaw groveled, pleading for his liquor the way she'd pleaded for Lockheed's life. While Shaw tried to pull a bottle of whiskey from the fire, Emma poured a round of drinks and made herself at home on his red velvet settee.

Shaw blustered, still trying to argue his case. Kitty silenced him with a punch to the throat, rendering him speechless, blubbering and drooling on the floor.

“Compose yourself, Sebastian,” Emma said, and laid his options out for him. Either the Council would discuss his fate before sending him to keep Sabretooth company, or he could ask for the matter to be dealt with privately, among the Hellfire leaders only.

He chose to run. Emma sighed and sent Kitty to fetch him. Kitty did, only because she wasn't done with him. She resented Emma's assumption that she was her lackey. That would have to be addressed at some point, but for now, Shaw was their business. When she dragged him back to Emma's feet, he tried another tack.

“You should be thanking me! You asked me to help build this nation, gave me a seat on Council, then put _her_ in the third seat. We didn't even know if she was a _mutant_. She can't use the gates. But now you know, Kitty, what you really are.”

Emma smacked him hard. “Call her Kate.”

Sebastian apologized, possibly for the first time in his life. “Excuse me. Kate.”

Kitty glanced at Emma and poured another drink. To Shaw, she said, “Go on.”

“The only thing I stole from you was doubt. I hope you understand why I did what I did and I...humbly ask you to forgive me.”

Kitty might have accepted his apology and showed him mercy. Kitty might have stopped there and informed him of his shift in duties in Hellfire Trading. But in that moment, Kitty wasn't thinking like Kitty. She was thinking like Kate of the Nation of Krakoa, the mutant people who were done being mistreated and not fighting back. And Kate wanted revenge.

Kitty finished pouring drinks and opened the window. Ororo and Lockheed entered, the sky behind them no longer blue and sunny, but dark with storm clouds. Kitty reminded Shaw that she was not the only party affected by his actions.

“Lockheed demanded blood,” Storm said. “And I demanded to witness this.”

Kitty's blood raced in her veins as she watched Shaw cowering at the feet of three women and the dragon he'd tried to drown. She felt no remorse for what she knew she was about to do, only satisfaction.

“Unfortunately, your work is valuable, Shaw,” Emma said. “Lockheed wanted to kill you. Kate and I negotiated a compromise on your behalf. So you are indebted to us again.”

Lockheed attacked. Under other circumstances, Kitty might have been appalled by what her dragon did to Shaw's eye, but she only felt vindicated. She was about to finalize her revenge and show that arrogant man who was in charge of Hellfire Trading, and all she felt was glee. She poured Shaw a glass.

“A toast,” she said, handing him a glass. “Here's some medicine for you.”

Shaw accepted it, and drank, taking it as a goodwill gesture. “Don't you think my punishment is a bit severe?”

Emma _tsked_. “Sebastian, losing your eye isn't your punishment. Shinobi and the Red Queen will take over your shipping routes. The eye was, well, an eye for an eye?”

“Your punishment is that you just drank Verendi poison,” Kitty said. “The very kind you contaminated an entire shipment of Krakoan medicine with.”

“If you die, you will be placed at the bottom of the list of resurrections,” Ororo said. She looked every bit a goddess as she stood over Shaw, who had begun writhing and foaming at the mouth.

“If you don't die, you'll be a shell of a man. We'll pick you up in the morning in one of Charles' old wheelchairs,” Kitty said as she placed an eye patch on him. “If you're still alive.”

Emma questioned the patch. “You keep that in your coat?”

“Figured I'm a pirate, I might need it some day.”

“You can give us your answer in the morning, at the Quiet Council session,” Emma said. “If you live through the night.”

The three women and Lockheed left Shaw twitching on the floor of his study, broken bottles surrounding him while his eye burned in the fire. She hadn't even thought to look for a bottle of anything to take to Kurt.

  
  


Kitty spent the evening celebrating at the Tiki Bar with Ororo and Emma. When she arrived at Red Keep, well past tipsy, she felt the first stirrings of uneasiness. She had poisoned Shaw, knowing it could kill him. She'd beaten him, allowed her dragon to mutilate him, then left him for dead on the floor of his home. Sickness filled her gut and she raced to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

“Oh god,” she gasped to no one. “What have I done?”

  
  


She barely slept. When she did, it was brief, fitful, and full of disturbing dreams where people she loved were her victims instead of Shaw. She woke sweaty and tired. A hot shower did nothing to restore her, nor did the arrival of Emma and Ororo looking as if they'd slept perfectly. There was not a hint of guilt in their eyes, and they did not express remorse, only pleasure at having finally dispensed their version of justice to Sebastian Shaw. Kitty said nothing as she joined them on the walk to Blackstone, pushing the empty wheelchair over the rocks and wondering if they'd find a dead man or a man who wished he was.

Her heart raced at the thought of seeing Kurt at the Council meeting, but not in a good way. He'd be appalled, she knew he would. He didn't condone this kind of...torture. _It was torture_. She'd tortured a man instead of bringing him to whatever passed for judgment on Krakoa. Kitty's stomach rebelled again and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to stay calm.

She couldn't look at Kurt as the three of them wheeled Shaw into the Council circle, his body withered and tinted almost green with poison. His seat in the center of their table had been removed, and for the first time, Kitty was glad she did not sit closest to Kurt. She could feel him staring—not just at Shaw, but at her. She put her chin in her hand, shielding her face from Kurt as she did.

Council members already present ignored Ororo's pleasant greeting and Emma's question about names for the vacant seats. Kitty prayed she could make it through the meeting.

Erik interrupted the proceedings. “Is anyone going to tell us what happened to Sebastian?”

“No,” Kitty said, keeping her eyes on the table. “Unless you want to vote on it.”

“Yes, I do,” Erik said.

If Mystique hadn't laughed and voted no, the motion would have passed and Kitty would have had to confess to all of them what she'd done. Or lie. Emma would undoubtedly let them see Lockheed's memories, and they would have known Shaw was Kitty's murderer, but that wouldn't have changed what she'd done to him. Even if they didn't convict her, how could she face them? How could she now? She peered through her fingers at Kurt, sitting not far from her, still staring from Shaw to Emma to her, occasionally looking sidelong at Ororo. He looked like a man surrounded by enemies, and Kitty's heart ached to know she'd be counted among them.

Kurt voted to hear what had happened, his eyes on her as he raised his hand. Kitty felt sick again, and wasn't sure if she should have eaten breakfast after all, or started drinking again really early. He had trusted her and now she'd let him down. She'd let everyone down. She'd become like the very people they fought against, full of vengeance and hate. She forced herself to put her hand down, to clasp them on the table and sit still, focused on Xavier.

After the deadlock, Shaw spoke. Quietly, but he spoke. He assured Council that he was still, as ever, Krakoa's humble servant.


	7. Don't Do Me Like That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty struggles with what she's done and how it will affect her relationship with Kurt, who seems to no longer trust her.

“Kate, a word, please,” Kurt called when Council finally adjourned. Kitty kept her back to him and didn't answer. The freezing blood in her veins wouldn't let her move fast, even if she had wanted to.

“You will not antagonize her, Kurt,” Ororo said, and Kitty turned to see her gripping his arm tightly. Kurt gaped at Ororo, stunned motionless except for his eyes flickering from her hand to her face, then landing on Kitty's. Kitty couldn't hold his heartbroken gaze.

“It's all right, Ororo. He can ask me anything he wants. Doesn't mean I have an answer,” Kitty said.

“I'll return Shaw to Blackstone,” Emma offered, for once not insisting Kitty join her.

“Thanks, Emma.” Kitty meant it. If only Ororo would leave, too. She didn't want to have this conversation with anyone else to witness it.

Ororo released Kurt's arm, and he took a few more tentative steps towards her. Kitty crossed her arms and set her jaw. She was Kate right now. She _had_ to be Kate. Merciless. Unrepentant.

“What happened to him?” Kurt asked. “He looks ill, like some kind of shriveled fi—”

“Natural consequences,” Ororo said, interrupting. Her face was cold and hard, and even Kitty was afraid of her. Would Ororo hurt her, if she knew the truth?

“ _Natural_ conse—” Kurt began, but Ororo interrupted again.

“You are not part of this Hellfire business.”

“Ororo, he can ask—” Kitty began.

“And we _voted_ to keep this matter _private_.”

“Even among friends?” Kurt said.

Kitty looked away as Ororo lifted her chin and crossed her arms. If only Kitty hadn't poisoned him. Everything else, she could justify, even Lockheed's actions. But she'd tried to kill him, knowingly, intentionally, cruelly. That he'd succeeded in killing her in a manner just as intentional and cruel mattered, but somehow, didn't. He had always been a villain. Shaw had always had only his personal interests at heart. He'd never cared for anyone else, not even his own son. Kitty wasn't that person. At least, she hadn't been, until now.

“Truly,” Kurt continued, his voice quiet and still disbelieving. “Neither of you trust me with this information?”

From the corner of her eye, she could see him looking from Ororo to her and back, disbelieving and hurt. Ororo stood taller. Kitty said nothing. She couldn't risk it with Ororo present.

“Kurt,” Ororo said, making her voice gentler, but still firm. “This is a private matter among the Hellfire Trading Corporation's ruling members. It does not concern you.”

Kitty closed her eyes and gripped her arms tighter.

“And you agree with this statement, Kätzch—Kate?”

Hearing him amend her nickname was a stab in her heart, but she had earned it.

Her voice came out small instead of strong. “Yes.”

“Very well,” he said. “A pleasant afternoon to you ladies.”

He didn't teleport away, and Kitty had to listen to the sound of his feet as he passed into the foliage. She put a hand over her face and tried to hold back the emotion welling up. Ororo touched her arm.

“He will get over it, Kitten,” she said. “He must learn his place. And he is not part of this. There is no reason to involve him in matters of this sort.”

Kitty lifted her eyes. _But he's our friend. You'd trust him with your life, why not this_? “Yeah.”

She and Storm left, heading inland together. Kitty declined an airlift from her friend, so they walked side by side. Kitty's thoughts raced and her heart felt half-alive, like Shaw's body.

“Do you want me to speak to him?” Ororo said. “Remind him not to harass you about this?”

Kitty swallowed and breathed deeply. “No. He won't.”

“If he does—”

“He won't, Ororo. Kurt isn't like that.”

They walked the rest of the way in silence and boarded the _Marauder_ , bound for another rescue mission. Kitty watched the ocean rise and fall, clouds form and drift apart, the sun track across the sky. Nothing stayed the same for long. She'd tell Kurt what she'd done, and he'd hear her out and that would be the end of it. Of everything. Whatever happened, nothing would be the same between them.

She phased down to her cabin and shut the door. Kurt had never been in her cabin on the Marauder. For a ship, it was spacious, but nothing like Red Keep. She preferred it, though, its smaller size more like what she was used to. She missed Kurt, a sudden, overwhelming hollow sensation that accompanied the thought he might never see this cabin, because he might never want to. Not after what she'd done. Kitty settled onto her bed and played with the new Krakoan phone they'd given her. When a text came in, she almost dropped it in surprise.

It was from Kurt.

>Logan wants a few things.

It was followed by a picture of the list. Whiskey, steak, shaving cream, the usual.

>Okay. Do you want German beer?

>No. Thank you.

>When I get back, we need to talk.

>No we don't. Have a safe trip, Kate

Her hand trembled as she read the text. She was Kate now. And he was right. She had become this person, trying to blend in on Krakoa, to go along with the professor's new ideology regarding humans and the world they had to share. She thought she was balancing them, but she'd always been only one person. What she'd done as Kate, she'd done as Kitty, too. She turned her hands over and looked at the tattoos. _Kill Shaw_. She hadn't needed those. She'd chosen to get them because she wanted to do. Even then, she'd wanted to kill him for what he'd done to her and Lockheed.

She put her head down on the bunk in her cabin and flipped the phone over and over. She had to talk to him, explain herself, even if it was only to seal her fate. Playing cold-shoulder games had never been her style. She texted him again.

>We need to talk

>There is nothing to discuss. You made that very clear and I intend to respect your wishes. Good night.

Sorrow enveloped her and Lockheed, sensing it, crawled up from the bottom of the bunk to curl into a little ball against her stomach. Crying wouldn't solve anything, but she cried anyway and told herself when she was done, she'd figure things out.

Kitty tried to be welcoming to the refugees. She tried not to snap at her friends, especially Bobby, who'd been so happy to see her when she was resurrected. Mostly she kept to herself, and they let her. She didn't try to text Kurt anymore, and he didn't contact her.

A few days out from Krakoa on the return voyage, Ororo cornered her in the wheelhouse. “Revenge is never satisfying, Kate, but it is sometimes necessary.”

“You believe that?”

“This was more than simple revenge. This was administering the consequences of his actions. He _murdered_ you. He attempted to kill Lockheed. That he is not keeping Sabretooth company is a gift.”

“I'm not convinced that's true,” Kitty replied, and turned to face her. “Look what I've given up for this. There was a time you would have been appalled by it. By my actions and your own.”

Ororo looked at her severely. “Times have changed. We are not who we once were. We are stronger, and we will not let those who believe they wield unlimited power trample us.”

“Shaw is a mutant. We are all mutants. He suffered at _our_ hands. Is that what we do now, too?”

“He deserved his fate.”

Kitty sighed. “He deserved _a_ fate, yes. _Consequences_ , yes. But what we did...what _I_ did...that wasn't justice, it was vengeance, and it was _torture_.” Her voice broke on the last word. “Is this what it means to be a mutant now?”

Storm only raised her graceful brow a millimeter. “Mutants handle our own problems now. We handled a problem.”

In spite of all the conversations about keeping things between them casual and limited, Kitty said, “I'm pretty sure I've lost my best friend because of this. And I don't think it was worth it.”

“He is pouting. In time, he will get over it. If he is your friend, will he not forgive you?”

“That doesn't mean things will be okay between us.”

“It was still necessary. I am sorry, Kitten, for your continued pain. If there had been another way—”

“But there _was_ , Ororo.” Kitty's fists on the wheel were white.

“—I still would have chosen this.”

Kitty sighed again. Storm was completely brainwashed. Arguing with her was getting Kitty nowhere, so she didn't respond.

Ororo folded her arms. “We are called to do difficult things, Kitten. To form our new nation requires sacrifice from all of us. I have given up many things. You have, as well.”

“I never thought I'd be sacrificing my friends.”

“I never imagined I might have to sacrifice _you_.”

Storm was acting strange, it was true, but she still seemed to care about Kitty. And Kitty desperately needed some care. When Ororo put her arms around her to hug her, Kitty hugged her back. She was torn between relief that Storm hadn't turned on her, and anger that she'd abandoned Kurt so quickly. The Ororo she'd grown up with would never have done that, and Kitty hugged her tighter because of the memory of the friend she had once been. Nothing stays the same. Maybe Ororo could heal, if she and Kurt could find out what was really happening on the island. If Kurt would agree to continue working with her.

“Well,” Kitty said. “I'm still here.”

“And you must not tell Kurt anything.”

Ororo hadn't changed yet.

“Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem,” Kitty said. “He doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe ever again.”

“That would be his loss, and his own foolishness, if he chooses to hold a grudge over this.”

Kitty paused. “Out of curiosity...why don't you want him to know?”

“Kurt is a man of faith and justice and morality. He will see only the wrong in what we have done, and he will not tolerate it. He will bring the news to Council, even if it means betraying your trust in him. He will tell them what you did, and it will not matter why. You will go on trial, and we will all lose.”

Kitty closed her mouth, tallying likely votes in her head. “How? There's no way, even without Jean...”

“Kurt will find you guilty. Even if we turn Xavier and Magneto to understanding, Kurt will not bend on this.”

“Even if he knows Shaw killed me?”

“He will call for a trial for him as well, I am sure.” Ororo put her hand on Kitty's shoulder. “Please, Kitten, do not tell him anything. I cannot lose you again.”

Kitty was sorely tempted to tell Ororo that Kurt already knew Shaw had killed her, and that he knew what she'd planned to do to him. What would Ororo make of that, she wondered? Kitty looked into her friend's eyes—once so warm and loving and now, hard. Kitty lowered her gaze to the wheel and their course, plotted out on the computer in front of her.

“Okay.”

  
  


When Kitty went to her cabin that evening, she picked up the phone and sent Kurt a text, though it was after midnight. She knew the devices were monitored, but she had to try.

>I'm sorry.

>Why?

She was so surprised to get a response, it took her a moment to reply with something that wouldn't give them away, at least not immediately.

>I hurt your feelings

>I am fine

Telling him not to lie to her felt hypocritical, but at least he was answering her. That was something, at least.

>I'm still sorry

>As you say

>I got your beer

>There was no need

>I know but I said I would

>Everyone breaks promises sometimes

>I didn't

>As you say

She stopped texting him after that. Even though he'd answered, it was clear he wasn't in the mood to entertain her side of the story. Maybe when they got home, she could take him aside and talk to him. Kurt wouldn't be unreasonable, even if he was angry with her. He'd listen. She just wasn't sure if it would make a difference or make it worse.

  
  


Black Tom must have alerted him, because he was waiting on the beach in the harbor, writing in a book when they pulled in. Ororo's face was set, and Kitty assured her again that she had no intention of telling him anything about Shaw.

“Then why is he here?”

“I brought him German beer.”

She docked the _Marauder_ and opened the storage area where she usually kept items her friends had requested. Kurt teleported on deck as Kitty arrived with his cases of beer. His face was carefully neutral, bordering on pleasant. When he looked at her, it was with practiced indifference. Her temper flared, and she had to purse her lips to keep from snapping at him. It wasn't fair, he wasn't giving her a chance to explain. He had made his judgment and never let her have a word. Just like what they'd done to Sabretooth.

“ _Danke_ , Kate, this was kind of you.” Kurt took the case but didn't leave.

Kitty smiled and waved at Bobby and Pyro when they left. Ororo stayed behind.

“Did you have a successful trip?” Kurt asked.

“It was good,” Kitty said, her voice clipped. She was still sorry, but she wouldn't accept his anger or disappointment until he had the right to it.

Kurt nodded. “Kate, Ororo, whatever happened with Sebastian...I apologize for trying to force my way into a situation where I was not needed. I wanted to assure you, it will not happen again.”

Kitty's stomach twisted, torn between frustration and aching loss. She wanted to run away. When she was a little girl, and things had gone wrong, she'd simply leave. When Piotr broke up with her, she'd gone home to Chicago and gotten kidnapped by Ogún. When Excalibur disbanded and things got rough, she enrolled in college, and ran into a gang of mutant hating students. When she disagreed with Logan and Ororo about the fate of the original five, she'd gone to Scott's team and missed out on bringing Kurt back from the afterlife. Running never helped, but she still felt the urge.

Kurt teleported away, and Kitty sat down on folding deck chairs to wait for Logan to retrieve his cargo. Kitty propped her feet on the railing and closed her eyes to think. “You can go if you want, Ororo. I'll wait.”

Ororo sat down instead, letting the sun shine on her face. “You see?”

“See what?” Kitty said.

“We held the line, and now he understands. Hellfire business is for Hellfire only.”

Kitty looked away. She didn't understand how Ororo could have changed so much. She seemed to be, in some ways, entirely under someone's control—the island, the professor, whoever it was pulling strings. Other times, Ororo seemed as loving as she had been when Kitty had first met her.

“Have you been resurrected, Ororo?” Kitty asked, figuring she could spin it to a conversation about her recent experience. Maybe she could learn something while they waited for Logan.

“Once.”

“Really? When?” She dropped her feet to the deck in surprise.

“When the island was in its early stages. There was an accident. We had the first gates in place, and the Five had perfected the resurrection process at last. I was one of the first. That is why I am there to welcome as many mutants home as possible.”

“I...I didn't know that.”

“I was not told about your resurrection, Kate, or I would have been there. I was not pleased with Emma or Charles for not informing me.”

“They didn't know if it would work. They tried so many times.” Eighteen. Forty-seven days out of the world. Kurt had been gone almost two years.

“Yes. And I heard it was Emma who figured out the problem.” There was a note of disdain in Storm's voice, or possibly jealousy.

Kitty glanced at her. “Sort of. Kurt said something that gave her an idea. She tried it.”

“Kurt was there?”

“Yeah. He was there.”

“I had forgotten how protective he always was of you.” Ororo trained her gaze on the island, but Kitty felt she was seeing something else.

“Yeah.” She kicked her feet back up on the railing and tried to sound casual. “I got a lot of reminders to wear my coat.”

Ororo laughed. “Yes, you did.” She reached over and flicked the tassels on Kitty's shoulder. “Is that why you wear this one now?”

Kitty half smiled. “I guess.”

“Why didn't you ask him to join the Marauders? You told me before it was the Council issue, but I don't believe you.”

Kitty stared at the scuffed toes of her boots. “The truth is...” she sighed. “I don't know.”

“I see. Whatever the reason, I am glad. I don't think he is cut out for what we have to do.”

“Kurt's never backed down from a fight, Ororo. Where is all this doubt coming from?”

“Here is Logan,” she said instead of answering.

  
  


Kitty went to Red Keep feeling better about Kurt and worse about Ororo. Her friend was completely different now, agreeable to violence, and willing to cover it up. And she was questioning the loyalty and capability of a man she'd known since she joined the X-Men, back when they existed.

Logan didn't hang around long—he never did. Once he and Ororo were gone, Kitty locked down the ship and airwalked over to Red Keep. She changed out of her Red Queen outfit and dug through her drawers for something else, something of her old self to put on. Most of it was gone, but she found one of her old Cat's Laughing shirts and put that on with a pair of basic black leggings. It felt good to dress like herself.

The Tiki Bar was busy at all hours of the day, but especially in the evening. Kitty knew a handful of people there, some only in passing, but she didn't see the person she was looking for. He might not come here—he might go to the other bar—but this was as good a place to start as any. If she texted him or called him, she didn't think he'd be willing to talk. She wanted to catch him in person and hopefully he'd give her a chance. If not, she didn't know what she'd do.

Kitty settled in with a drink at the far end of the bar, behind other patrons. She could see but not easily be spotted unless someone was looking for her. She doubted Kurt would expect her to be around. She didn't frequent the bars or restaurants alone very often. And if he was looking for her, it would be to avoid her.

She guessed she'd been there about an hour when Logan strolled in with Kurt and Ororo, to Kitty's surprise. None of them were smiling, but Logan ordered a round of drinks and they sat at a table and nursed them. Odd that Ororo was with them, although she and Logan had always been close. Kitty didn't have a clear view of Kurt after they sat down, but she could see his nose and a few curls sticking out past the bulk of someone's shoulder. She scooted her chair back a little until she could see more of Kurt's face. He was hunched over his drink, frowning, occasionally attempting a meager smile in Logan's direction.

Now that he was here, within her reach, she reconsidered her genius plan. She couldn't approach him with Ororo there. Something heated began at the table, and Kurt stood up, stiff and formal. She couldn't hear what he said, but he nodded at both Ororo and Logan, and left. Logan started after him, but Ororo put her hand on his arm, and he sat back down. Kitty went out the back way.

Kurt was nowhere to be seen, but she knew a few places she could look for him. His dome house was closest, but he didn't answer and she didn't hear him inside. She passed the swimming hole and Arbor Magna and the other bar. She started up the hill towards the ledge overlooking his tower, hoping he'd still be there by the time she made the climb.

Kitty rounded the last curve in the path and there he was. He was crouched at the edge, so close she held her breath. His balance was impressive, but she could see him tumbling forward and she wanted to physically pull him back. She made noise as she walked so he wouldn't be startled and fall, but he must have heard her coming. Long before she reached him, he spoke.

“I'm surprised to see you here, Kate.”

Every time he called her that, it was like a stab in her heart. She moved slowly, not sure if she was welcome. She didn't sit.

“Why?”

He sighed and hung his head between his knees. “I don't know,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I don't know anything anymore.”

She eased closer. He was right at the edge, literally nothing in front of him but open air. “Is it safe to sit here?”

“As safe as anywhere else on Krakoa,” he replied without looking up.

She sat down, letting her legs swing over the side. If she fell, she could airwalk and be all right, and now she was close enough to catch him if he lost his balance. He didn't move or look at her, and she resented it.

“You know I couldn't talk to you with Ororo there. I don't understand why you're so angry.”

“Angry?” He looked at her, brows lifted in disappointment or sadness, she wasn't sure which. “I'm not angry.”

“Then what?”

“Confused. Disappointed.” He paused. “ _Hurt_.”

It was rare for Kurt to admit any feelings beyond happiness or worry or anger. It gave her hope.

“Me, too,” she said, and that elicited his second glance her way. “You haven't given me a chance to explain anything.”

He rocked a little on his feet before settling back to hang his legs over the side with her. “I don't know that we've had much opportunity for confessions.”

“So you're assuming the worst.”

“There are few options for what happened to Shaw. He's clearly ill, debilitated. His eye is missing. The three of you came in together and refused to discuss it.”

“And you thought I wouldn't tell you later.”

He looked away.

“Something happened that I can't explain,” Kitty said. “I knew you'd be unhappy about it, but I thought you'd at least be willing to hear me out.”

“You both made it clear I was not to be involved.”

“Kurt,” she said, losing her patience, “You _know_ why I couldn't tell you. You've tried me and found me guilty without even letting me tell you my side of it. You assumed the worst of me, and you cut me off.”

“You always use the code.” He looked at her then, his mouth set in a thin line. “But you didn't, not even when I did. You barely spoke to me at all.”

“I _couldn't_. Ororo—”

“You texted me. You didn't use the code.”

She closed her mouth. It was true. “You're right.” Kitty swung her feet a few times, then pulled them up onto the ledge. “But you're still assuming the worst of me. And Ororo assumes the worst of you.”

“And what is that?”

“She thinks you'll take all of this to the Council and have us put on trial and sent to live with Sabretooth. She said you'd find me guilty.”

“What did you _do_?” he said. He leaned away, his head shaking slightly in trepidation.

“I went to Blackstone with Emma to do exactly what I told you. But Emma had Verendi poison with her, and the longer we were there, the more angry I felt. The more I wanted to watch him _die_. I put the poison in his drink and gave it to him. I watched Lockheed rip his eye out and spit it into the fire. I let it all happen, I never tried to stop it, and I didn't care that it was wrong.”

With each word of her story, Kurt's eyes widened and he leaned farther away from her.

“When we left, we celebrated. Like we'd done something wonderful. But afterwards it was like...coming out of a nightmare. I didn't understand any of it, and I still don't. I don't know why I did those things, but I did. I didn't even remember to bring you a bottle of whiskey.”

Kurt hopped to his feet and stared down at her like she was something filthy. “You need to come with me,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions surround the obvious out of character behavior of some of the mutants. Ororo stands out to me as being much more violent, aggressive, and tolerant of violence than she was before. I recall the team's complete shock when she accepted Callisto's challenge to fight to the death in order to take over the Morlocks to save Kitty (a contest which I must point out was first initiated by Kurt, without hesitation, to save her). Ororo has never been one to kill without provocation. Though Callisto lived, she was “killed” by Ororo in that battle, and Ororo took over the Morlocks and commanded them to save Kitty. In a recent issue of Marauders (#17), Callisto asks Storm to fight her in Crucible so she can regain her powers. At first, Storm declines, but in the end she shows up and does indeed kill Callisto. I'm just not sure that's something I can see Storm doing, in character. Anyway, others may have different opinions, but that's how I see it, and that's the perspective I used when I wrote this. No disrespect is meant towards Storm—I love her, I just think she's acting weird lately. Like the rest of them.


	8. Built to Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconciliation, explanations, promises about the future.

Kitty had fought demons, monsters, aliens, and villains with super powers. She'd been to other planets and other universes and other dimensions. She'd faced her own mortality, phased inside a bullet hurtling through space for what would surely have been forever if Magneto had not brought her back to Earth. She knew what fear felt like, and she knew how to deal with it. Looking up at Kurt, his hand extended and his face hard, as he told her, “You need to come with me,” was in her top ten list of frightening things she'd faced.

Ororo was right. He was going to turn her in. Her arms and legs felt numb and cold, and her entire chest seemed full of adrenaline. She ignored his hand and stood up on her own. If she was going to be tried for her crimes, she'd do it with her dignity intact.

“I know the way to Arbor Magna,” she said. “You don't need to take me. I won't run.”

“What?”

“I'll take myself. I'm prepared to plead my case.”

He sighed. “I'm not taking you to the Council,” he said. “But there are fish in the bay that eat cereal, and _I need to show them to you_.”

Kurt's face was a plea for her to trust him one more time. It was impossible not to. She laid her hand in his, wondering how many times he'd held his hand out to her. How many times had she accepted it or offered her own? That simple physical connection between them had saved their lives more times than she could count or even recall.

An eye-blink later, she was coughing inside a huge, glowing room, with walls that reached to the sky, shimmering like opals in the setting sun. She tipped her head back and shielded her eyes from light that seemed too bright for the time of evening.

“It's the tower,” she gasped, snapping her head down to look at him. “We're inside the tower.”

“ _Ja_. I've been testing a few theories about it recently, and, among other things, it seems to block psychic signals. Try it.”

Kitty reached out to Emma, Jean, even Rachel. “They aren't answering. No one's answering,” Kitty said, putting her hand to her head and trying again, as if she could amplify her brain waves and reach someone.

“Try the professor,” Kurt suggested. He had his hands on his hips and he paced and fidgeted.

There was no response from Xavier, either.

“Doug said it's beyond Krakoa's reach as well, but he couldn't explain why the island would build something it couldn't talk to. I don't know if that's true. I have only Doug's word, and he has only Krakoa's.”

“It's even more beautiful on the inside,” Kitty said, turning a slow circle, unable to tear her eyes from the glowing walls.

“It is.”

Kitty looked around again, in wonder and awe and unease. She shivered and held her arms. Kurt tipped his face to the ceiling, where the light bounced and refracted through the walls, shimmering in a flowing rainbow of color.

“Why did you bring me here, if this is a space for you?”

“To share it with you.” He let the words float between them for a moment, then added, “And I could reach it in one teleport. We can talk here freely, or as freely as is possible on Krakoa.”

“I was never going to hide anything from you,” she said firmly, her temper flaring. “I didn't mean to forget the code, and I don't want to make excuses, but I haven't exactly been okay.”

He clenched a fist and looked like a spring wound too tightly. But he didn't move, and Kitty wouldn't go to him, not if he didn't believe her. “I am sorry for doubting you,” Kurt said.

The words seemed to free her. She wasn't angry any longer, only sad and lonely and scared of what she'd done, because she didn't understand how it had happened. Kurt continued talking, slowly closing the distance between them as he spoke.

“I couldn't be sure what was going on,” he said, “and there was no way to talk to you. When you didn't seem to recognize the code, I thought you must have succumbed to the island's manipulations.”

“I did,” she said. “I could feel it happening. Oh, god, I don't think I'll ever stop seeing it in my mind. Him writhing on the floor, with poison...”

She hugged herself tighter, and Kurt finally got close enough to reach out to her, stopping just short of touching her.

The words continued to tumble out of her. “I never felt that way before. I never wanted to watch someone die at my own hand, not even Anjulie, when I...” She swallowed around a tightness in her throat. “I would have stayed and watched him die if Emma and Ororo hadn't taken me out of there.”

“I don't think you were acting of your own free will,” Kurt said softly.

She looked up and saw him at last, and in his eyes was the same relief she felt at understanding she was not fully responsible for what had happened. She dropped her arms, holding her hands out like a question.

“Really?”

“You sound the way I felt after the Sabretooth vote, only what you have experienced is, I think, much worse.”

Kitty pressed a hand to her forehead and took a deep breath. Then she stood up straight and faced him.

“Were you worried?” she said.

“I was terrified.”

Certainty filled her. She no longer cared if it would compromise them, or connect them in suspicious ways, she wanted him with her, beside her, not stuck on Krakoa, sitting through Council meetings while she was away at sea, sleeping in her cabin alone.

“Join the Marauders. Come with me.”

He looked at the floor but didn't drag out his answer. “I cannot, unfortunately.”

She felt like a child. “But you said...”

“I've two reasons. Council is already down two crucial seats, maybe more depending on how Shaw's situation plays out.”

“Oh.” Moments before, she'd been ready to throw herself into his arms, but now, visceral disappointment kept her from touching him at all.

“And I've been asked to handle something else.”

“Oh?” She rocked back on one hip.

“I'm heading a team of, for lack of a better explanation, devout and paranormal investigators. Quite a coincidence, don't you think?”

“Is it a setup?”

“I don't think so, but I also don't know exactly what it will entail. Apparently, we are not the only ones on the island seeking answers to that which we do not understand.” He rubbed his neck and tipped his head back, stretching the muscles.

“Okay.”

“Kitty...”

She didn't look up. “Is this because of me? Is that why you took this job?”

“I took the job before. Before I knew anything about Shaw. I was going to tell you after the meeting, but...” He shrugged.

There was nothing else to be done about it now. She felt tired, all her muscles overused and her heart heavy from the long days of misunderstanding. It seemed to settle behind her eyes and in her throat and she couldn't quite shake the feeling. Kurt touched her elbow and she opened her eyes.

“I would have asked you to join me, but...”

“I've got the Marauders. I get it. It's okay.”

“I am sorry for what happened with Shaw. I'm sorry I was not there with you and I am sorry I misjudged you.”

“I'm sorry, too, for giving you cause.”

He opened his arms to her, and with a sharp little inhale, she stepped into them. She took another, deeper breath and pressed her face against his neck, willing herself not to cry.

“How are you doing, my beautiful Kätzchen?” He rubbed her back in long, lazy strokes.

“I'm okay. Better now.”

The first tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped at them, propping her chin on his shoulder and using the shimmering colors of the tower to distract herself.

“Honestly, I thought of bailing on this place completely. Buying a house on Fiji or something and just _running_.”

“But you are still here.”

“Yeah. I couldn't go. I _can't_. And if something happens...I _have_ to stay. Too many of us need me to stay.”

“ _I_ need you to stay.”

Kitty leaned back to see his face. “Kurt. I was so afraid you'd hate me.”

“Never that.”

He brushed aside a strand of hair from her face, damp from tears, and she leaned into his kiss. Her skin was warm where his hand settled at the back of her neck, his tail curling around her leg. When he parted from her, it was only to kiss her face and hair before returning to her lips.

He ran his fingers over her cheek. “I won't assume the worst again.”

Kitty leaned into his hand, kissing the palm. “Okay. But I understand why you did.”

When he leaned in again, she closed her eyes and let herself be swept away. Another awful thing was behind them, and they were still here. He still wanted to hold her and kiss her and confide in her. The mysteries of Krakoa were obstacles, but they were finding their way. She felt hopeful again.

  
  


“Time to go,” Kurt said later, as he collected their things and helped her to her feet. He paused for one more kiss before teleporting them from the tower to Kurt's dome house. The longer distance made her stomach rebel, and she pressed her hands to her sides to steady herself.

“I'm sorry,” Kurt said as he rubbed her back lightly. “Would you like something to eat? A cup of tea or coffee or...” he rooted around in a cabinet and pulled out a bottle. “...rum?”

She made a face, her stomach still settling. “Tea would be great.”

Kitty sank into the corner of his couch, surprisingly comfortable for Krakoan furniture, and looked around. She'd seen his home, but never really examined it. It wasn't a big space, but it was enough. Windows overlooked Krakoan scenery, including a waterfall that splashed soothingly into a lagoon. One of the island's bars was on the other side of the lagoon, hidden from his house by a wall of rocks. Kurt brought her tea and sat down beside her.

“Would you join me for dinner?”

“Oh, I don't know if we have time to sail—”

“ _Here._ On Krakoa.”

She eyed him curiously. “Is this a date?”

“I suppose it could be considered a date.”

Her hand itched to hold his. “Are we not keeping this secret anymore?”

He rubbed his chin. “I am torn. On one hand, it might make things easier and give the others an automatic reason for why we are meeting. Then again, I worry about the implications should one of us be discovered.”

“If they catch one of us, when they scan our brains or whatever they do with traitors, they'll find the other. Even with psi-shields. Xavier and Cerebro are powerful, and if Krakoa really is reading our minds...”

“It seems like an appropriate risk.”

“Yeah.”

Still, they hesitated. Ororo sprang to Kitty's mind, her distrust of him, and her fear that Kitty would share secret Hellfire information with him, resulting in them all going to trial. What would Ororo say if, or when, she learned they were intimate? Kitty had stood up for him to bigots and mobs of angry, stupid people. In some ways, it had been hard, but in other ways, so easy. They were strangers. How much harder would it be when it was a friend?

“Ororo won't like it.”

He frowned, a sad sigh escaping. “I know. I wouldn't care, but it affects you directly.”

Kitty scooted down beside him, her knee resting on his thigh as she pulled his arm around her shoulders. “I propose a sort of compromise. We say nothing unless someone guesses the truth.”

He rubbed her shoulder and smiled, wide and full of fangs. “I like this compromise. I was thinking about teleporting furniture into that _verdammt_ tower but now I can leave it all here.” He leaned down to kiss her neck until she laughed.

  
  


The restaurant was busy, but they didn't have trouble finding a table. Halfway through the meal, Ororo found them.

“What are you doing, Kate?”

“Having dinner. Wanna join us?”

“I believe I will,” Ororo said, pulling up a chair. She kept looking at Kitty, hard, then to Kurt, suspicious.

“Is something wrong, Ororo?” Kurt asked at last.

His voice lacked the usual friendly tone. It sounded flat. Sad. She frowned at her meal, remembering that Ororo was not herself, but an altered personality created by the architect of Krakoa, whoever that was. She was no longer so convinced it was Xavier, at least not him alone.

“I don't know yet,” Ororo replied. “It depends on what you two have been discussing.”

“Fiji,” Kurt said.

“Fiji?” Ororo said, making it clear she did not believe them.

Kitty's irritation got the best of her. “You think I told him.” She glared at Ororo. Manipulated or not, she was tired of her distrust and accusing tone. Kitty came close to telling Ororo the truth, simply to prove Kurt was still trustworthy, but that made her angrier. She shouldn't have to prove anything. “You—”

Kurt let out a weary sigh and Kitty shut her mouth hard. She stabbed her dinner unnecessarily. It wouldn't help for her to make a scene.

Fortunately, Kurt had a longer fuse. He sounded resigned when he lied to Ororo. “Whatever it is you are hiding, fear not, I know nothing. If you wish to enlighten me, I won't say no to that.”

“No.” Ororo sat back in her seat, crossing her arms.

“Suit yourself. As I said, Kitty and I were discussing a visit to Fiji. Have you ever been?”

Ororo narrowed her eyes at him. “Call her Kate.”

Kitty almost choked on her food at his reaction.

“I am so sorry,” he said finally, his eyes locked with hers. “Old habits...Kate.”

“It's okay. I don't mind. Just like Ororo still calls me Kitten sometimes. You guys are special.” She patted Kurt's hand and then Ororo's too.

Ororo's face seemed to soften into what looked like a genuine smile. The waiter brought Ororo a plate and took her order, and she seemed to loosen up the longer she sat with them.

“So you are considering visiting Fiji?” she said when the waiter left. “I have never been, but I have heard it is a beautiful island. Not as beautiful as Krakoa, of course.”

“I thought it would be fun to compare,” Kitty said.

The three of them discussed the merits and drawbacks of Fiji and Hawaii and a few other neighboring islands. Ororo even laughed a little. Her good mood faded as dinner drew to a close.

“I've been asked to do something,” she said, one finger scratching lightly at the tabletop, “that I do not wish to do.”

“Much is asked of each of us,” Kurt said with a frown. “What is it?”

“Crucible. For Callisto. With Apocalypse gone...”

Kitty put her hand on Ororo's arm. “You don't have to.”

“I know. But I feel I must. She asked me if I remembered how far I would have gone to have my own powers returned to me. And I have an obligation.”

“You have no obligation,” Kurt said. “None of us do, not for that. There are always volunteers.”

Ororo looked at Kurt. “I was harsh with you earlier. For that, I am sorry. And I am sorry, too, that I cannot share with you the circumstances of Sebastian Shaw's current situation.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said. “And it is not necessary. I only ask that you remember I am on your side.”

She nodded. “Old friend, I will remember that.” Ororo leaned over and kissed his cheek as she rose to leave. Then she kissed Kitty's head and said, “Thank you for inviting me to eat with you.”

  
  


“This is a beautiful view,” Kurt said as he and Kitty lay staring up at the stars later that night. The top of the cliff into which Red Keep was built was flat and smooth, with soft green grass growing. They had spread a blanket out and even Lockheed was enjoying himself, curled between them.

“It was like this on Muir, remember? Only so, so cold.” She scratched Lockheed's head and cuddled deeper into Kurt's shoulder.

“ _Ja_. I always felt that was a shame.” He wound his tail around her leg again, settling it into a more comfortable position. “You leave in the morning?”

“Yeah. Back to Madripoor. I need to thank the family that saved Lockheed, and I've heard things are getting a bit... _touchy_ over there.”

“Are the Marauders going?”

“Just me and Lockheed.” She kissed his jaw.

“Even though we understand at last how to resurrect you, I don't wish to go through that ever again.” He cupped her cheek, tipping her chin up. “Come home to me, Kätzchen.”

“I will.”

He kissed her softly and slowly before he lay back down, still caressing her cheek, then slipping down her neck. “There is so much to do still.”

“Yeah. But we're making progress. I think something happened with Ororo tonight.” She sighed, the motion of his fingers sending sparks up her spine. “God that feels good,” she whispered, arching her neck.

“I know you like it,” he whispered back. “That's why I do it.” He kissed her forehead.

Kitty closed her eyes, Lockheed wiggling closer between her and Kurt until she laid her arm over the little dragon to appease him. Around them, the island made its island noises, insects and the wind and the water lapping the rocks outside Red Keep. Somewhere, Xavier was working on his plan, whatever it was. Across the water, mutants were desperate to come to Krakoa and make a new life for themselves. Kitty would bring them home and Kurt would be waiting for her. She laid her hand over his heart. She'd thought of him as an anchor, keeping her grounded, but she was wrong. He wasn't an anchor. He didn't weigh her down or hold her back. He sheltered her and let her go, waited for her and welcomed her back, just as she was. He was her harbor, her favorite port of call. Her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theory about what's going on with them regarding use of gates and resurrection protocols. I struggled to come up with an explanation for why neither of them are affected by the widespread mental manipulation that is so obviously (at this point in the series) going on. Whether it's Xavier's doing or Krakoa's is still every bit a mystery, so the initial assumption by the characters is Xavier. (I still think Moira's got something to do with it, and I definitely don't trust Krakoa, or Xavier, so for me, they're all in the suspects column)  
> My idea is that, along with the Krakoan language, a dormant override code is also 'downloaded' when mutants walk through the gates. The code gives Charles full access to their minds and memories during the resurrection process, allowing him to alter their memories at will (see Domino's lost emotion associated with being skinned alive—she explicitly stated she wanted to remember, but woke not remembering, and convinced she must have not wanted to, in spite of people telling her she *did* want to remember). Because Kitty has never walked through the gates, she retains her memories during resurrection. It also explains why Kurt isn't affected. As Kitty speculates, he isn't being resurrected by Charles/Cerebro, but by the continuing natural consequences of falling from Heaven—Charles can't replace his psyche because it's already there as soon as his new body breaks free of the egg. So, while the dormant code is present, it can't be used. I hope this makes sense. It's a two-part system, and each of them are missing a factor. By this theory, if they figure out how to let Kitty use the gates, and then she dies, Charles could manipulate her then. So let's hope that doesn't happen. :-)

**Author's Note:**

> Laughing_Screaming likes to use song titles for chapters, and I've done it before, but was inspired to do so again. These are all Tom Petty songs, because he's my favorite ever and that's the only reason. There's no hidden meaning to them, just titles that sort of fit the chapters, kind of. I miss Tom Petty.
> 
> Also thanks to Laughing for the idea of poor Kurt, resurrecting endlessly in the radiation of the sun. Poor guy.
> 
> Also I am totally into the idea of secret relationships lately.


End file.
